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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Past, Present, Futuredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AngelOutlaw
    ASL Info:    21/female/OR & WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 672/392/64
    Words: 9
    Class/Type: Haiku/
    Total Views: 1185
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 79



    Description:
       A try at a haiku. Just let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPast, Present, Futuredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Linked through memories,
    Separated by passions;
    Hope in tomorrow.




    Submitted on 2005-06-24 17:55:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great haiku! Expressive, imaginative, quite original...it has all the ingredients of a successful poem! But the first two verses were the ones which truly "caught" me, through their idea: "Linked through memories,/Separated by passions" - that was such a great awareness of it! Great job in writng this!
    | Posted on 2006-01-01 00:00:00 | by Kalyiel | [ Reply to This ]
      Girl this is wonderful! BUT this is senyru a form of haiku but reflecting "human nature" instead of "nature" The second line "Separated by passions;" jogged my mind and made me ponder what passions???? This is a the kind of writing that makes one's mind bounce all around trying to speculate what the author is hinting at. Title Past Present Future is the perfect description for this writing. You are a natural at haiku if this is your first try and I certainly will be looking for more of them to read in the future. Even going to vote for this and give it a five!
    `always write poetry, Cheryl
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you captured the past, present and future in your 3 line limit. You could be referring to any number of things here...well done!
    DJ
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by Doris Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm not much of a poet but i liked it. personally it made me think of u and pj. is that what it means. if i figured that all by myself it means that my brain must actually work. yay!
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      nothing wrong with this, nothing at all.. i enjoyed this little haiku because it talks of love, but between the lines.. at least that is what i got out of it.. i do a few haikus every now and then.. just did my first full love haiku.. so i kinda know what you mean when you say try.. but the try was successful.. good job
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Deep, Deep. Its to be expected from you tho, so its not surprising. it held alot of significance. and the thing about haikus is that if you have people not having to read it more than twice adn it still has them thinking about it minutes afterwards, you've got something good. lol. good work. love ya~P.J.
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Perfect title.. memories-past, seperated from the present...hopeful to make it to tommorow.. at least that's my interpetation hehye welcome to Elite
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
      Three lines, and a million ideas in there...friendship, love, family relations...the list goes on. Very well done, I'm gonna start paying attention to your work.
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by Dipsomniac | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, you managed to put a good relationship gone bad that can probably be good again into three friggin lines. Thats awesome. Thats why I like haikus (bless u), because of such complexity and simplicity into three structured lines. Nicely done and overall two thumbs up (and if there were more people here, you would get even more thumbs up...hee-hee.) Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      very nice haiku, what i think makes haikus really good is to put a metaphor in it, and try and put as many meanings and depth in the short bit of poetry you put out. Try and put genuine feeling in it, so that it is shor but nothing short of beautiful, ver good try at a haiku by the way!

    **I.N.D.E.L.I.B.L.E._I.N.K.**
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by Indelible_ink | [ Reply to This ]


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