Come on girl.... by Brack-Attax

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Submission Name: Come on girl.... dots

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Author:	Brack-Attax
ASL Info:	21/male/phx
Elite Ratio:	6.53 - 175/116/21
Words:	218

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Comedy
Total Views:	396
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1346

Description:
I kind put this together on seperate days, tryin to figure out a couple of different ways to say...
Ladies, just for a laugh, --I will always love you ladies.

Come on girl.... dots

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Girl, you got me with that glow in your eye.
Can't stop smilin & wishin you were mine.
I look at yo face, then yo behind. Mmm.. Mmmm..
Come here now, I'm ready...
We'll go out and It'll rain confetti..
I promise, you won't regret thee...
Ya see---

I'm an oldtime (G)
dis my guilty plea.
you girl---V.I.P.
Come home wit me-------
Girl, enter my fly world
me and you girl---
together, it's like being plural
a sundae swirl...
take off your coat, I'll take off mine.
Lets propose a toast while we drink this wine.
To finding you, for the lord bringing together us two.
come closer girl, don't be nervous,
I can understand if this is your first service.
Here's the bedroom, come on lets play.
Slowly now,...

Mmmm.. Mmmm.. Mmmm...
Is all I caould say.
Your movements are tasty,
Come closer so I can appreciate them greatly!
Softness all around, from your curves up top,
all the way down.
Lets do this girl, your tease is too strong----
Lets have dessert, before anything goes wrong---->

Brack/Daddy

HA Ha.

Submitted on 2005-06-24 18:32:09 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Lol this was an interesting piece. It was funny and amusing. I really enjoyed reading it! Yea and it really does sound like some kind of song. It's easy to read and sounds like a good rap.

Keep on writin man,
~*~ Lisa ~*~
| Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by Nani | [ Reply to This ]
  Very very very intriguing...If something like this...was sent to me...or spit to me I should say...I think I would melt...

Never before have I seen a man spit something so "sensitive". Glad to see that someone can walk the path less traveled!

This was muy excellente!

Much love!

Li
| Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
  not so bad, careful about the spelling mistakes...a sundae swirl'' sunday??? and the line ...''Lets purpose a toast '' i think you meant to write propose? any way this was cute for an attempt...keep jammin
| Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
  Trés rap/rnb or what have you. I read it as a rap-ish kind of poem... lyrics is what I'm TRYING to say... Its very media, society, music oriented. This is alot better than some of that crap on the radio now though!
I really dont have alot to say about it, besides spelling (Tastey=tasty) etc.
Good work and good luck!
-Ann
| Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
  i wonder if that would actually work to get a girl in bed with ya. lol just playin. u have some mad skills with the rhyming, honestly i would never have thought some of those words would ever go together. you should start making a beat for this and sell it before 50 cent tries to claim is.lol neways funny
peace
| Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by bluecrane | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey this was some sweet rap. you got some talent for rap. i've read some of your raps... they always make me crack up. i geuss you are funny. i don't know why, but i laughed the most when i read this line.>"Lets purpose a toast while we drink this wine." oh and i loved your forum rap. you know how to bag on people that you don't even know in real life. keep up the great work.
Claudia
| Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]
  THIZ SHITT WAS OFF THA HOOK,DAWG, THIZ WAS KIND OF FUNNY ! DAMN YOU HAD GOOD CREATIVITY ON THIZ PEICE, THIS WAS CRAZY COOL, GOOD JOB !
| Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by J-IDENTITY | [ Reply to This ]
  I can't stop laughing, I'm sorry.
This is good. I like it, for the most part.

'Mmmm.. Mmmm.. Mmmm...
Is all I caould say.
Your movements are tastey,
Come closer so I can appreciate them greatly!
Softness all around, from your curves up top,
all the way down.
Lets do this girl, your tease is too strong-
Lets have dessert, before anything goes wrong->'

This is my favorite part.

Keep up the good work...

ur Rain
| Posted on 2005-06-26 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
  yeah ! damn skippy. i liked it then i liked it now. i can't put POST THAT SHIT again, so i'ma fill up space with this: TTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBBBB~P
| Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
  Okay...as soon as I read "girl, you got me" it reminded me of that song:

"girl, you really got me girl, you got me so I don't know what I'm doing" - something like that.

and then as I read further down-if became humorous b/c it reminded of a bad remix of a boys II men song...you know, bad flow, instead of a nice soft band in the background-it's a punk beat...I don't know...

I hope you've never song this to anyone before (LOL)

No-I guess it was funny b/c you know: "mmmm...mmmm...mmmm"

What a way to describe such a feeling...no, not bad-it was a change from all the serious and lovey-dovey poems...so I guess you can get bonus pts for that...

Nice-in a way.

Thanks for the humor
-stacey-
| Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
  lol very interesting, i somewhat enjoyed it. it seems like it would be best worked into a hip hop song or something, because the rhyming is choppy for anything else.

it lacks any real emotion it's purely about sex but that's cool cause obviously that's the point...but personally i favor heartfelt and soulful writing.

- pce, t
| Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by chalky | [ Reply to This ]

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