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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love and the Pianistdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WolfStar
    ASL Info:    26/F/California
    Elite Ratio:    6.85 - 119/130/46
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1300



    Description:
       How is it that we fall in love with you over and over again?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove and the Pianistdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Spellbound by the bone-white hands,
    the stiffness of the arched neck,
    the music pouring
    not from the hidden strings
    but from the tips of the strands of his hair
    from the sweat sliding down his back.

    The room falls in love
    with the long, tapering fingers,
    the gleam of the fingernails,
    the angle of the elbows,
    the movement of the round lips
    working below a whisper.

    His hands,
    they entreat, they demand,
    they strike, they plead,
    begging, commanding, praying
    to the Wooden Goddess,
    worshiping and instructing her,
    compelling and caressing me.

    I am in love with his hands.
    I am the piano.

    He kisses my flesh when he kisses hers,
    striking every note and key within me,
    my body singing,
    playing his sonata.

    When he sits on the bench
    when his hands touch the keys
    he is making love to us both,
    the piano and I,
    no longer separate,
    all difference lost
    in the great flood of love
    when he plays our bodies,
    our souls,
    when his fingers brush
    the secret places
    only known to a lover
    only known to a pianist.




    Submitted on 2005-06-25 13:29:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like how you put music and love together with the emotions that you used, although i dont like the piano i could definitly feel this piece, enjoyed the read
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. honestly the imagry in this poem was amazingly vivid. *cheers* this poem truly should be featured in ES lol. you are an exsquisite writer keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by PiercedHeart | [ Reply to This ]
      Marvellous! The way you liken the piano to the human form and with all those action verbs...all those -ing's just make the poem live and breath and sing. Beautiful.

    I apologize, but i really feel that my comments will only detract from the wonder of this piece...so i'm just going to fave it, so i can find my way back to your page.

    see you later, kc :)
    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice poem. I can see how you can compare yourself to a piano. The way you describe everything it's like the man you love is playing a romantic tune for you that brings out his love for you. Good poem.
    | Posted on 2005-06-26 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful.. i'm listening to piano music now and this just resonates so incredibly sensual and loving..
    when i play the piano, it's a feeling sensual thing. this makes me want to tickle those keys..

    one teeny nit, i think you could lose some of those "the" thingies in the first verse..


    @ peace&ivory @
    !Cat
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      What a grand piano you are, so young, so talented. This is a great poem and its success comes from the fact that you started with an overriding metaphorical conceit or leit-motif which gives your poem structure and an interesting angle. There is probably some emotion there as well but it is nicely subsumed by the poetics so it is not too raw or over-obtrusive. I give praise rarely and criticize freely so I deal only in hard currency. This is good. Incidentally, have you seen the New Zealand film by Jane Campion "The Piano"? Did you also know that male musicians typically have their ring finger much longer than their index finger which is a sign of increased testosterone in the womb, if that is of any interest to you.
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      The perfect word for this piece: smooth. It flowed right along in such a melodic way that I almost felt as though I was there, in the world of this poem, listening to the piano music. You definitely get an A in the imagery department - you painted some beautiful pictures. In my opinion, the poem need not be touched: it's perfect the way it is. Very, very good. I look forward to reading more from you.

    ~ Pina Colada
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by Pina Colada | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah.....

    What can I say, this one certainly brought back some memories.....

    There is no feeling like that, is there....being someone's melody...your body singing, your senses giving in completely...you are the unwritten sonata, the piano, the Muse and the melody.....

    Maybe its because I am helped by personal memories, but I thought this was wonderfully done...it flowed, just like music...graceful and passionate and seemingly effortless....inspired by something within.....the subtle touches of lust and seduction only strengthening the force of the piece.....

    It truly is magical....if this is your imagination running wild, then by God, you are good.....

    I think Im going to have to take this one with me....

    All the best,

    Katia
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, what a charming and delightful poem. Such a brilliant perspective of a pianist and his piano. You had a beautiful rhythym going on there, it just kept on going, until I was in awe of how the piano was being played.

    The picture you painted was not just about a piano and its player, it was waay more than that. It showed how much the they loved each other. And I know that seems a bit odd, but I thought it was gorgeous. I can't find any other words for it.

    You made this piece into something that I thought was simply breath taking. The connection and the love between the two, was enough to send my mind spinning. You captured the love of music through this poem. And I am quite pleased to have read this piece.

    -Segniust
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by Segniust | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    64205

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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