Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: His Secretdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 765



    Description:
       I recently dug up my old poetry book from a few years ago.

    I don't know why I bother posting up my old poetry, since I am a completely different person now...it's wondous the maturing, growing, pain, and life lesson a person can experience within 2 years. so i don't truly understand why i want to post old poems; but I have a few theories

    maybe it's the need to show improvement. to show my (hopefully) progressed writing

    or perhaps it's the difference seen when comparing my old writing to my newer ones, showing two completely different point of viws from two completely different people

    or, maybe, i just still like it



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHis Secretdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Don't worry, I'll never tell
    That you don't want to be pulled up from where you fell
    Enchanted, enraptured, under her spell
    And you fall into her eyes
    Empty brown wells

    Shhh! It's a secret! I promise I won't tell
    While every day you love her
    Every day is hell
    I'll make sure to toughen up my invincible shell
    But, God, the price I'd pay for the love you won't sell

    Keep QUIET! It's a secret okay?
    Don't worry, ill take the secret to my grave
    I want to rescue you, but you don't want to be saved
    The path I walk alone with grief and longing is paved
    With the choices that my damn heart has made




    Submitted on 2005-06-26 03:54:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this poem confused me, uterly confusing, yet i liked it.. but i dont quite get the whole concept of this poem. but i still thought it was good
    ashley
    | Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by star_on_fire22 | [ Reply to This ]
      something about it touhed me. it was simpal and easy to read but its still makes you feel and at first i thought that it was a bit "young" i ended up feeling like it was an all your life think some lines i loved were you put them and how the feel becuz of that like: But, God, the price I'd pay for the love you won't sell
    Keep QUIET! It's a secret okay?
    Don't worry, ill take the secret to my grave
    I want to rescue you, but you don't want to be saved that was great and i also loved your into the first 5 lines but i thnk that you may want to think about changeing the line :Shhh! It's a secret! I promise I won't tell, becuz the wont tell feels to much like the first line well no it feels over said cuz the hole poem is in that tone. but i did injoy it. thanks
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by BlackLace | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    64294

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry