Still More to See by mcgovern

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Submission Name: Still More to See dots

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Author:	mcgovern_xiii
ASL Info:	35/M/NewEngland
Elite Ratio:	4.13 - 70/91/26
Words:	102

Class/Type:	Poetry/Nostalgia
Total Views:	264
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	615

Description:
This is something I wrote 4 years ago when I was pondering over my life.

Remember, Learn & Create

Still More to See dots

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I have lived a lifetime or two in the last 30 years.
I’ve seen the road give and take,
I’ve seen the smiles,
I’ve seen the hate.
The good with the bad,
Will vs. Fate.
A short story,
A novel,
An endless sham,
This is my life and who I am.
A journey well traveled,
Nor one to be missed,
All the love that I have shared,
And the one never kissed.
Shall have to wait here in time,
for me to come home.
But the last six feet,
I will travel alone.

Terence McGovern ‘00

Submitted on 2005-06-26 20:53:17 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I like the traveling thorughout and the last travel that "six feet under". it opens the door to saying that the journey is not over. also the lifetime or two on 30 years, I also connect with that i do feel like have been through alot myself. very good write. makes me ponder and reflect, mike :)
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  I must admit, I found this interesting, but it didnt grab me until the last two lines....

Those took hold of my semi-wandering mind, and twisted it back to the screen, and very loudly said 'LOOK' in my ears...

I dont even know why, to be perfectly honest with you. It was nice, I didnt find the rhyme inappropriate, in fact, it added to the piece...but there wasnt enough detail in it for me to know you, the author, the narrator, the person....it was a little too vague...I would have wanted more personality...

But then those last two lines were different. They were original (to me, anyway), and captivating, and true, and relating to everyone...for those last six feet we travel alone, waved on by those who came to watch....

Very interesting....

All the best,

Katia
| Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
  mc,
This is an incresible piece. It reminds me of the road less traveled, and Emily Dickinson. It is effective in its simplicity. It is raw and powerful, and it doesn't need a bunch of fancy words to convey a universal truth. I am truly impressed and adding it to my favorites. Keep up the great writing!
Ashley
| Posted on 2005-06-26 00:00:00 | by queendepricate | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the style, it's not an overused beat like most out there, and that makes it seem very creative and professional. The word choice is quite nice as well, and I especially like the line:

This is my life and who I am.

It just sort of sums up the perfect viewpoint on life. It's life. You can't change it, you can't go back and alter the past. You just have to deal with it as it is and love yourself as you are. I like this a lot, it's just so entirely true!
| Posted on 2005-06-26 00:00:00 | by Scribbles1338 | [ Reply to This ]

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