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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Freedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lies
    ASL Info:    18/f/USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 56/31/6
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 1068
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 610



    Description:
       I wrote this a while back and everytime I read it, I just....think. What do you think?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFreedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want to know how it feels
    To just be free
    To not care about how much eyeliner I wear or
    How people label me
    I want to run in a field of daisies
    And put some in my hair
    I want to stop
    and watch the ocean
    Drop into thin air
    I don't want to think about it
    I don't need someone to tell me
    How my life needs construction
    how I need family.
    I don't need to dream about rainbows
    or scream everytime i have a nightmare.
    I just need to be needed
    and yet
    I need to not care.




    Submitted on 2005-06-27 11:09:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      " I just need to be needed and need not to care" Great line I think Peop,e will always label you but if you force people to look beyond a label , they will have to put you in a catagory all of your own.

    much LOVE
    James
    | Posted on 2006-07-15 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great, and so is the topic. So many people can relate to the feeling of just wanting to go somewhere where they can be free, just to get away from everything. You got the feelings and the meaning out just right. Good job
    ~Kriss
    | Posted on 2005-07-01 00:00:00 | by juss_kriss | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a great poem. I sometimes i wish i could be free from everything and everyone...and just go to a whole nother world with no worries...like that will ever happen...but we can all dream.

    Don't we all wish there were no labels. SOmetimes things don't go the right way...I guess that is just life ya know...but your poem was beautiful. Maybe one day we will all be free:)

    Keep on writing

    Mikki
    <3
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      i kno what your also talking about.I dream every day of my life surviving that long that i can swim in the ocean and smell the roses and dasies.i love your peom.., i hope theres hope for us out there.keep writing
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by Rainin_Raspbery | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, yes...the utopia of a purely spiritual world...I have also dreamed of it, and that's it. You only can dream of it...
    A very nice poem...but I am wondering why you breaked the rhythm in the middle of the poem. From the 5th to the 8th line - perfect syllable count, and then you hashed it into peaces...if you want to write a poem with no determined rhythm, that's your choice, but mixing poetry and prose just throws the readers off a little...at least it threw me off.
    But anyways, you have good ideas...keep thinking them up!
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by shoggoth | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem! I think alot of people want to be free. I tend to be labled and wish I could just be..."me". This is a good peice athough it seemed a little short, imcomeplete some how. But still I loved it. Great job!

    - -Caitlin
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      i really enjoyed this poem. It would be so nice to just get lost in everything and not have a single care in the world. You did a really nice job pointing out the petty ex. the eyeliner, and then turning to something that actually means something. It's the beautiful things that get taken for granted. Thanks for sharing this.j
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful...I wish the same. Really I do. I want to go to a place where I can just be free. A lot of times reality just doesn't cut it. I often need a break from reality. Thus, Marijuana... LOL
    Anyway nice piece and keep doing what ya doing.

    X
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]


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