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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Satan's Mistressdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Indelible_ink
    ASL Info:    20/F/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 143/109/25
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1296
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1289



    Description:
       Little dark for me, I know, Feedback please.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSatan's Mistressdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Swimming deep within hells fire
    A fallen angel with a scarred face
    She sings to all the wicked souls
    With twisted smiles and unforgotten grace
    Her eyes, they gleam with menace
    Tell that her heart is deep within hellís sea
    As she laughs at the tortured lost spirits
    And the million anguished screams

    The queen of the dark empire
    The lady of this prisonís flame
    She dances with the shadows
    And drinks the acid rain
    The demons bow to her feet
    And cower to her voice
    As she makes her commands
    With her eyes and not a noise

    She caresses Satan
    He entranced by her beauty
    Her smile melts him away
    He forgets all his duties
    He gives her his fiery kingdom
    And hands her all earthly treasures
    All just for one single kiss
    And his passion cannot be measured

    When no companion or demon
    Is standing in awe of her throne
    She stares in shards of a mirror
    Filled with despair and left alone
    She glances at her charred stubs
    Oh! That once was her beloved majestic wings
    She cries tears of the darkest blood
    For without her master, power doesnít mean a thing




    Submitted on 2005-06-27 13:54:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      powerful, it drew me in i wanted to read more..i loved it..very descriptive which is good..the flow was superb..keep up the awsome work!..(adding it to my favs list! :)
    -lucy-
    | Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. I like how it's told like a story. I find it funny how Satan can fall in love. If you've ever heard the song "N.I.B" by Black Sabbath...Ozzy sings about the devil falling in love. I've always found that funny. But I loved the wording in this and I think you did a VERY good job in describing the surroundings of this poem. Great write!
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Another amazing piece! This was an awesome read. You gave Satan qualities that I've never really imagined him having. Showing a compassionate side to him was a very different take and I was not the least bit disappointed! The ending was extremely sad, but it was great! Another great write!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-09-21 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      incredibly detailed. you used such powerful distinctive words which brought more images to my mind. i like the format of your poem. the rhyming is smoothly written without any force. it was beautiful but still dark and very emotional to me. lovely.
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      Yummy! Dark and tragically beautiful in its filth. You use such glorious details and I was completely entranced by this "mistress." I love the whole stanza about how she entrances Satan, it was my favorite part. This is different, I was pleasantly surprised by it. Thanks for commenting on my work!
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      That was really really good...and dark, which was the point, yes? Odd to think that Satan might have a wife, and what her effect on him might be, and how she really feels. Her wings being shattered, does that mean she's...less demon? Just wondering. Keep on keepin on.
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Dipsomniac | [ Reply to This ]
      niiiiiiiiice.

    this was really different! i love that even satan is tempted. i enjoyed your description of her, making her sound so coy, and seductive, and then showing a different side of her...i think it would mean more if you were clearer on symbols (if any) in the poem, because as to what means what, i'm a bit lost. and if there's not any symbols, i think it would benefit and add depth to an otherwise interesting story

    -Cherie
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by throughmyvoice | [ Reply to This ]
      Very powerful one you have here! The thought that some other being could have power over satan, that captivated me. Satan's Mistress appeared so strong and harsh, the twist on that impression in the last stanza was extremely clever. The rhyme and flow proceeded perfectly in all stanzas but the third, the usage of Her and He as the first word became trite; and in my opinion took away from the poem. Other than that, I'm in love with this poem!
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by Poechick13 | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting. Does it mean somethign? Are you referring to somethign? I guess when I read the title, I expected to walk away with a conclusion: Satan's Mistress = X

    Where "X" could be jealousy, greed, despair, etc. Without that, it's merely a tale. And that's fine too. I just often wish for more.

    Nice wording and phrasing mostly. Good work.

    =^|
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by _n3pt | [ Reply to This ]
      man that was great descriptions and etails... almost felt like i was with this lady of darkness. its an exceptional poem: the way itreads almost like a story and the dark images are so ritch and poerful you can vision the whole thing. and i have to admit this type of poetry isnt my cup of tea i like the way you have cunjured this piece... imagine how much beter you will be when you get older... great one
    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by Versifier | [ Reply to This ]


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