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    dots Submission Name: Grave of Sadnessdots

    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 620
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653

       This one is kind of different. Maybe a little choppy, but I chose to write it that way...enjoy!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGrave of Sadnessdots

    A spear through the heart,
    shattered glass beneath,
    shiny slivers puncture the skin,
    crimson tears of pain are shed.
    deeper into the earth,
    being swollowed by loneliness,
    black walls stand tall,
    fingernails scratch at the dirt,
    no edges are felt.
    of smiles and laughter,
    have long faded away,
    surrounded by coldness,
    echos of a heart breaking,
    are the only sounds to be heard.
    Blank Visions,
    seen through the eyes,
    sadness felt in the soul,
    a lifetime of loneliness,
    is what the future beholds.

    Submitted on 2005-06-27 15:57:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      very good sence of loss and lifes worth i did not find it to choppy though as i write some of my darker poems that way they seem to be a better read that way as the points reach out to pull the reader in
    well done
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. Sadness is a kind of death, isn't it? Very nicely written. The "choppiness" is great. This is how someone depressed thinks: never clearly, just fragmented. ANd I really love teh ending:

    Blank Visions,
    seen through the eyes,
    sadness felt in the soul,
    a lifetime of loneliness,
    is what the future beholds.

    Very nice indeed... I'll keep my eye on you...

    as always, I am curiously...

    | Posted on 2005-06-27 00:00:00 | by _n3pt | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed reading this. It's well written and very descriptive. It held me from beginning to end. Sad poems can be very beautiful if written well and I think this one is. Great job. Give us more please. lol
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by bgj | [ Reply to This ]

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