Description: This was my first attempt to writing a " Tanka"
I was inspired to try by Chell, she wrote a good one. I wasn't too sure if puncuation was allowed.
If not, I will need to revise. Bare with me here.
Oh my God! I HATE when that happens. It happens to me at about 2 in the morning and I come up with some really killer lines, but I'm just too tired to wake up and write them down. Then I think to myself, "This is such a great idea, there's no way that I will ever forget that line". Then the morning comes and I remember that I had a really great idea the night before, but I can't remember for the life of me what in the world it was. Maybe I should just keep a tape recorder next to my bed hey?
Anyhow, you did a great job describing those unfortunate fleeting moments that I think just about any writer can relate to.
Ain't that something! I myself, keep a lock on my mind and never lose anything. I have that rare memorable mind! I can be in the car miles from home and know what went through my head when I finally make it to a pen and paper. Except...then I have no where to go with it because the only thing I lost was the ambition of what I was thinking. I have so much unfinished work it is embarassing!
Yep I can relate, Some of the greatest bit of peotry that come to my mind are never written down because I happen to be in the wrong place at the right time...
in these few words you have described almost every impromptu and poetry writer in the world.. haven't seen it done like this, with these words before.. ive been around the game for a while.. give yourself a pat on the back, there is no critisizm lol for something that is as good as this.. so once again congratulations on a job well done
lol i can spell congratulations but i cant spell critisizm aint that a b i t c h
My first time i read "tanka" i've never heard of tanka... but this is cool. this always happens to me, and it sucks. espiecaly if what ever was in your mind would of made a great poem. i love short poems. espeically when they make the message simple, and cute. Kay
this was good and simple. trying to find that pen and paper when you need it is really a joke. i can never find out nor write when the need arises, only when i "feel" like it. i have no idea what a tanka is i'll have to go do some research, i cant give anything else because like i said have no idea what you were trying to get at
that happens to me when i'm crapping. i think of trillions of great lines on the toilet that'll never see the liht of day. that angers me. P.S: much flattery on the mention in the forums about being tru. thnx dude. i honestly don't thik i'm terribly good but i'd like to say i'm true to who i am. thnx again.~P
Nice job! Tanka's hard because it's so restrictive. This doesn't feel controlled by the form, which is always the first concern. You have a cute thought, and though tanka is usually bond by a season word, you know I think rules should always be broken-at least once! You followed the 5-7-5-7-7 format perfectly. This made me giggle, but I connected because I can't count the number of times the words have been 'right there' and then flew away before I could get them on paper. Thanks for sharing! It was good, -Chell-
I've always wanted to write a Tanka but never really got around to actually doing it. Maybe one day... Anyhow, I thought this was pretty good. Nothing too deep but it was cute. Short and sweet..always good. These isn't much else I can say for it; the flow was good, there weren't any grammatical mistakes or missing punctuation, everything was perfect.
i like it because its compares to the thoughts itself once you had it then its gone. the poem reflects that characteristic well, indeed. tell me what is a tanka, I havent the foggiest. mike :)
This is good, I enjoyed reading it. And it speaks so true, all these ideas will come to you and by the time you get to paper, they have all disappeard.
I have a question... what are the characteristics of a Tanka, I've never heard of this style... PM me the details..
[censored]- I hate it when that happens. It always happens like that and it makes me want to say [censored] [censored] [censored]. I definitly know the fealing; you have this nice bit of inspiration resting on your mind, a sweet bit of honey, and you swollow the damn thing when you meant to savor it. I liked this, way to capture something real. I would have liked it a little betteronly if there was an image or something a little more concrete to go along with it. good one nonetheless. Peace-Lefty
[censored]- I hate it when that happens. It always happens like that and it makes me want to say [censored] [censored] [censored]. I definitly know the fealing; you have this nice bit of inspiration resting on your mind, a sweet bit of honey, and you swollow the damn thing when you meant to savor it. I liked this, way to capture something real. I would have liked it a little betteronly if there was an image or something a little more concrete to go along with it. good one nonetheless. Peace-Lefty
Yeah, I like the Tanka also, because the form gives just a little more room than a haiku. Your syllable count is right on and your theme falls like ink blots in waiting.
no pen to be found
might work for the line of the same meaning, but it all works very well, good first effort on this form. peace and love, nansofast
Submission Name: Poetic Thoughts
