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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The day beauty faded awaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hollowshell
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 39/40/14
    Words: 213
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1130
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1287



    Description:
       What can I say, Ive been in a very dark place for a long time and Im finding it hard to find the light at the end of the tunnel.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe day beauty faded awaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    One day everything beautiful faded away,
    never to return to my life.
    My heart, my soul, my kindness,
    replaced by my hate and strife.
    I lost who I was that day,
    eradicated, replaced with a fake.
    I despise what I've grown into,
    my reflection is just too much to take.
    Easy going, happy go lucky,
    long gone, forever, and it's hard to show,
    I miss the boy I used to be,
    the boy I used to know.
    I long for those days when beauty,
    just seemed to flourish from hope.
    I long for the days of normality,
    I long for my hit to cope.
    The world used to seem so magical,
    so perfect, so innocent, so pure.
    But now I see the world as a disease,
    and only one person had the cure.
    I see crime, I see death, I see loneliness,
    I see injustices untold.
    Life is a game of poker,
    and when you can't bluff you must fold.
    I just wish somehow I could show them,
    show them what they have done to me.
    The never-ceasing longing,
    but tragically they will never see.

    I wait for the torment to end, miserable and to my dismay,
    I long for the moment when I can forget, the day beauty faded away




    Submitted on 2005-06-28 08:07:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really love this. You did a great job of expressing yourself. I think that this could be a song if formatted in a different way. I know the feeling of depression so I can identify with the meaning. This describes what I have felt so many times. I hope you can find the light. :) Good write.
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      You put a lot of feeling into this poem and it is clear, that you are hurting...But each of us has within us the power to grab that ray of sunshine for beauty has not faded away...You have life and with it a new day of new beginnings...For some life was taken away forever... The ray for you is still shinning...grab it ...make the most of each day you have...Take Care...Desi..
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Desi | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a sad poem
    i can even feel your pain and hurt
    but it leaves a question of
    what happened to you?
    but all in all
    keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by darkonesgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG , what must you have went through in your life to feel this way , i have suffered at the hands of depression and i think everyone does in some way or another. i now see the light ( i dont mean that in a religious way ) but for a long time everything was dark and grey , i had a permanent cloud above me that only rained on me or so i thought , its hard to get out of depression , but theres only you who can fight it , a friend said to me that depression is only anger without the enthusium. i hope you see your light soon and if you ever need a chat , just type.
    best wishes and take care Lainie xxx
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was great full of emotional epics if we only could flip back the pages and make different decisions of then we see it now ya the world has changed with violence and war but the generations to come will one day be extinct human kind will dispose of human kind one day
    very enjoyable read
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      The poem is very bleak. there is allways hope that you can change each day is a new day. well thats what I've learnt.
    christianity isn't a concept its a relationship with god.
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Bloomsbury Set | [ Reply to This ]
      It's you. These are your words. Of course it's been said a million times around the world, but you've taken the time to express it here. Overall, it's a nice piece. I guess it could be argued that you should elaborate, be more descriptive, and less telling. But hey, it's your style.

    I am, however, intrigued by the following line:

    and only one person had the cure

    Is this a religious reference? If so, I applaud the subtelty with which you place it. If you DID mean Jesus, I have some wonderful words that were shared with me to get me past a dark time: He died for the world. He lived for you. Take comfort and instruction in his words, and hope in his death.

    Yeah yeah. It's preachy. Skeered will kill me if she finds out. Jesus was a cool dude. I don't care what His modern day followers have done to His name, He Himself is still the coolest dude I know and had the best advice. It's a shame nobody listens.

    Another great quote from a friend: "Christianity is a great concept. It's just a shame nobody's tried it yet."

    as always, I am humbly...

    !n3pt
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by _n3pt | [ Reply to This ]


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