Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: road to obliviondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: XxMusikJunkiexX
    ASL Info:    18/f/ny
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 109/134/39
    Words: 385
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 686
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2307



    Description:
       written for a friend of mine...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsroad to obliviondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Green light on the corner of oblivion,
    The darkness has never felt so right,
    Between Heaven and Hell and blue skies and pain,
    He’s not sure of this moment but he’s willing to try,
    The speed of the highway sets his soul on fire,
    But the music will set him free,
    Speakers vibrating, the music flows through his veins,
    He’s still hoping for one last release,
    The thoughts in his head, the bass in the car,
    He turns up the volume to drown out the noise,
    He’s got some beer, and some pot, and some pills, and some hurt,
    But he’d give it all up just to hear her voice,
    His smile has faded but it still hides his disease,
    He’s driving to a place he should call home,
    Walls, and a roof, and some floorboards and guilt,
    But he still falls apart when he’s left alone,
    Peace doesn’t come easy to him these days,
    Then again, nothing ever did,
    And all the times he’s escaped, and all the people he’s lost,
    He can’t think clearly when they’re all blaming him,
    The street signs glow with the lights of summer,
    And he’s too young to know this sort of pain,
    Clutching the wheel, he hits the gas hard,
    Because nothing will ever be the same,
    And he’s thought about leaving them all behind,
    But he could never quite find his way out of this dream,
    And he’s thought about giving it all up for good,
    But he could never leave them the way they’ve left him,
    He rolls down the window to let in the wind,
    Desperate for anything to put his mind to rest,
    He breathes in deeply but he can’t feel a thing,
    The music’s loud but so is the deafening silence,
    2 AM and still going strong,
    He couldn’t run fast enough so he had to drive,
    And the tears aren’t avoidable forever, it seems,
    And he’s never felt more alive,
    He wipes his eyes with his torn sleeves,
    Blazed and broken, confused and lost,
    He doesn’t listen like he should sometimes,
    And he wishes he didn’t know what growing-up cost,
    A teenage soul on the edge of oblivion,
    Only a few more miles to go,
    He sings along with the lonely angels,
    And prays one day to find his way home…




    Submitted on 2005-06-28 10:03:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Walls, and a roof, and some floorboards and guilt,

    that is a great phrase. your storytelling is really good, and it's more of prose than poem, however, i did enjoy the descriptions. well done.
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      I was reading this and imagining it all happening and it just was , "Amazing." This was absolutely powerful and you should be proud to be the writer of this dear piece. It does say a lot to me. Your comments on it state it was written for a friend of yours. I'm curious on whether it was written for a boy who had done this?
    Lies.
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by Lies | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this has such a strong message and it kept my attention to the very end. I loved the ending, it was really well written. Growing up does have some terrible costs as most of us know or will soon find out. I too had to grow up far to soon and there have been some important things that I've had to miss out on. Having to make big sacrifices is what being an adult is like, having to put others before you and let go of childhood dreams. Its to bad that things don't work out like they do in the movies, don't you think? Anyway great job!

    Karen
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by kp_2007 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    64567

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Thinking too much written by taintedsmiles
    Untitled written by _winky_
    Blues written by TheStillSilence
    Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
    Release written by robbie
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    To Be written by MyPeriodical
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Scared written by MyPeriodical
    Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical
    I am a sorry son. Part two written by MyPeriodical
    Untitled written by taintedsmiles
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    Rezar por la naturaleza written by MyPeriodical
    Sanctimony written by MyPeriodical
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    MY VERY OWN DEATH written by Ethan Brody

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry