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breaking faith

Author: fallingingreen
ASL Info:    18/f/missouri
Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 136 /141 /34
Words: 88
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1108
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Bytes: 553


helpless.. i don't know what to do..

breaking faith

these words fall like raindrops..
extracting hot tears down my cheeks
catching on my lips
to taste the saltiness of my defeat
i pray so much now
but i still don't know if i believe
i just-
i want so badly for there to be something more..
than this pain.. this life..
there has to be..
so i sink into the blankets
of pillows-
of hopeful dreams
for better times
and honest smiles..
there has to be more to this..
there just has to be..

Submitted on 2005-06-28 13:56:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  dude i love this and i can totally relate to wanting that faith but not knowing how to attain it and then thinking if there really is a God then why is he letting me feel this much hurt and then asking myself am i that bad of a person, do i deserve this.
pm if you need to talk.
| Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by lethargic_me | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this, it's so much of you opened up. Isn't it crazy how things come full circle, to me God is amazing. I have seen him work in my life a thousand times, each one just as magnificent as the last. I say this to you because I do not know what you are struggling with, or what Altered_Sight is trying to beat but I do know that it causes doubt. We turn to God in our hour of need, when we see no other real alternative we want so badly for there to be a high being a higher source, something that can come in and sweep away all that is bad. God will be with him, and you. He is with you both right now, you come to him in doubt, tell him your doubts. When I pray, I do not attempt to collaberate some strategic sequence of words that flow so elegantly and smooth, no, I simply open my heart and let God know EXACTLY what is on my mind. The God I love knows already, it is just up to me to allow his grace to pour in. I cannot promise you that things will work out exactly like you want, but I do know that everythign will be ok, and things will work out for the best. I don't think "Breaking Faith" is a proper title for this, I would have called it, "Hear Me Cry" because this is not your faith breaking, it is being found, and each trial will bring new strength.

Much love and prayers,
| Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow this is good. it flows clearly but its still open to the reader your skill is their i can see how its well writen but i see its beauty and hurt. i saw this as this as if it was me as if you wrote about how it feels to have so much pain and longing to put your faith in some thing higher cuz that would mean you have something hang on was original as for lines i liked i tent to likw a strong opening but your hole poem was strong nice work i injoyed it thanks
| Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by BlackLace | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed reading this for many reasons, one it was well written, two i could really feel your emotion, and three i can relate...i know what its like to be desperate for something else out there and have a rough time...the wording of this is excellent and you really capture the feelings i think your going for...this type of write may not be totally original, but at least its not bland, a lot of the stuff i read on here with the same kind of idea behind it is very dull with no emotion...anyway i don't have any helpful suggestions for how to make your work better
keep up the great work and keep on believe in something else...
p.s. i noticed someone else who comment on your work kind of got on you and acted like you were being ungrateful for what you have...ignore people like that for all they now you don't have a roof over your head or your parents beat you or whatever...sometimes it is worse to have parents than to not have them...try to think that the future will be better and if you every need someone to talk to (even though you don't know me...which i think kind of makes it easier) don't hesitate to let me know
| Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]

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