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In the great darkness
our bodies intermingle.
Your lips gently touch mine,
as your skin softly rubs against my body.
Your tongue slowly touches my every inch.
Trust has surrounded me.
Each one of my fingertips,
lightly caress your skin.
Your gentle feel,
compassionately embraces my body.
The sensations you leave me with,
create a world I never knew.
| This poem feels more like it's just describing an event, not really showing the feelings through the event. You should write more about what's going through your head than what's going on physically.||| Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Atropos | [ Reply to This ] || Nice i think you have some talent. However you could've added more to it. But all in all it is good I hope to see more of your work.||| Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by sheltie | [ Reply to This ] |