This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Passion


Author: Enleigh
ASL Info:    16/f/WI
Elite Ratio:    2.32 - 21 /32 /13
Words: 63
Class/Type: Poetry /Romance
Total Views: 1013
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 432



Description:


its just about the guy i love


Passion



In the great darkness
our bodies intermingle.
Your lips gently touch mine,
as your skin softly rubs against my body.
Your tongue slowly touches my every inch.
Trust has surrounded me.
Each one of my fingertips,
lightly caress your skin.
Your gentle feel,
compassionately embraces my body.
The sensations you leave me with,
create a world I never knew.




Submitted on 2005-06-28 22:43:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This poem feels more like it's just describing an event, not really showing the feelings through the event. You should write more about what's going through your head than what's going on physically.
| Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Atropos | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice i think you have some talent. However you could've added more to it. But all in all it is good I hope to see more of your work.
| Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by sheltie | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



64659