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Ask Me

Author: Yousef
ASL Info:    26/M/Egypt
Elite Ratio:    8 - 468 /203 /22
Words: 119
Class/Type: Lyrics /Love
Total Views: 1128
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 782


This is considered to be my first lyrics, I didn't write any before. All comments are appreciated, thanks in advance.

Ask Me

Ask me,
Ask me to stay
Ask me;
Give me a reason
Not to run away

Tell me,
Tell me you need me
Tell me;
That being together
Is meant to be

Ask me,
Ask me to stay
Ask me;
Give me a reason
Not to run away

Trust me,
And close your eyes
Trust me,
There is no surprise
Just trust me,
No more lies

Love me,
Let me have you here
Love me,
Let me hold you near
Just love me,
Have no fear

Ask me,
Ask me to stay
Ask me;
Give me a reason
Not to run away

Just ask me
Ask me to stay!

Yousef Hani

Submitted on 2005-06-29 03:10:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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5: Wow!


  Well Yousef, I really liked this (as always). Repetition in some cases works, and in others does not. This my friend, works for me! I hope your not discoureaged by other comments, because repetition does drag sometimes, as others I'm sure, have mentioned, but I think this is a great piece (and im that one that really matters...right;O))

Just kidding...

Anyway, this tells one of the many tales of love very well. The relationship that works, and you onyl wish you had a great reason for it not to...sigh.

I really havent much to say on the structure of your poem. Overall I enjoyed it. Sorry I'm not giving you much of a great comment here...

| Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
  asking ...
this leaves me wanting to know, who is mistreating whom? did she hurt you or have you just had enough? i guess one does lead to the other. staying or going... sometimes the person that stays silent is really begging you to stay. i'm just speaking from personal experince. :).
i understand the longing to hear the words...
sometimes we need our partners to say what we already know in our hearts. Yes, we know they need us. Of corse, i'll never go.
sometimes its not about the threat , "Ask me,
Ask me to stay
Ask me;
Give me a reason
Not to run away",
sometimes, i think you just want to makes sure you're just not wasting your time.
Just my own personal thought.
| Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by butterfly wings | [ Reply to This ]
  Hi there first of how are you? I have been lazy in last days, so I thought why not take a look at your page to find out weather you have written something new.
Now to the lyrics, I think I should also try my hand in that, It is a bit short. I like the clear message. It is very simple and I like simple lyrics.

Ask me,
Ask me to stay
Ask me;
Give me a reason
Not to run away

this is the best line, very straight.
The only suggestion I can make is to make a bit longer maybe a bit more details.
With shabnam
| Posted on 2005-07-07 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
  I think these lyrics are good for the first time. but what I would do is make it longer, plus I wouldn't repeat the words as often as you used. I think if you kept on hearing the same words the audience would get bored, if you know what I mean. It has a nice image in this though. If you look deeply. Many probably can feel the same way, or think or been through something simular.
Also I think you may want to make a chorus up. I guess for the chorus if you wanted to repeat some stuff over you can, cause that is where the audience remmebers.. and that would be easy don't you think./

Well I think you did a nice job on this stuff. Good job

| Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]

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