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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: love her or notdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sword stalker
    ASL Info:    18/female/home
    Elite Ratio:    2.57 - 27/27/16
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Story/Love
    Total Views: 620
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1386



    Description:
       this is just some stuff i went through... plaese tell me what you REALLY think. thnx


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslove her or notdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You loved her, you loved her not,
    You loved her and told her friend she was hot.
    Did you really love her?
    I think NOT!!!

    When you love someone so deep inside,
    It seems so very easy to hide,
    He treated you the way you should have been treated,
    You thought your life was finally completed.
    Every night you would hope and pray,
    That he would always stay that way.
    One day he treated you bad and it hurt,
    You thought all you were to him was dirt,
    You wanted to believe it was just a hoax,
    That it was never to happen again,
    But on and on it just kept going,
    Getting worse and worse with each passing day,
    He called you a bitch, a slut, a whore,
    Untill you thought you could take no more,
    Then he left you for your friend,
    That lying cheating back stabing friend.
    Your self-image had greatly depleted
    You thought your life was finally deleted,
    Then one day you met the man,
    Who cheered you up and made you smile.
    He said the things you wanted most to hear,
    He made you feel the end was near,
    The end of your suffering,
    The end to your pain,
    The end to all you thought you knew,
    He treated you right he never made a move,
    Then you found out that he was actually gay!




    Submitted on 2005-06-29 05:21:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well it was pretty good...but towards the end i have to say its like you just wanted to get it over with but at the same time those he seemed to fall out of it couldn't help but read it again after finding him gay but maybe thats what you were going for was this surprise ending no one expected over all pretty good
    | Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by lah | [ Reply to This ]
      ending was to rushed sharon i thout it was about me untill the end. over all it was preaty good no wait it sucked balls like you sharon just kiding
    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by Death Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how this poem starts off serious then it ends with a twist like that. The end makes it more cheery. Great Poem.

    Roguex
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Roguex | [ Reply to This ]
      That was funny, I loved the ending...The only thing I see wrong with the piece is the repition of He, The and You...Maybe you could try a more conversationalist style if you want to keep the language like it is or try to eliminate some of the filler words...I think it would drive your points home...Keep up the work...B
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by bluepifany | [ Reply to This ]


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