Description: Haven't posted in awhile, so hope you enjoy.
Silent with Me -------------------------------------------
With Bohemia pinned to my bag
And old Albion crooning in my ear
Its all meat and control
When I'm with you my dear
Under a chemical sky
Burning with a dirty high, I
Wipe off blood and lipstick
From something shallow and drunk
Watching limbs struggle
On something warm in the trunk
It's cold
I'm lonely
If only
You would stop talking
About switchblades and scars
And stay silent with me
Under the silent stars
Sounds like two lovers in a war, or struggle, perhaps the blood is one of theirs...or someone else. Sort of surreal piece. I liked the references to pollution and sorts...it gives the relationship portrayed a sort of industrial, ragged feel. Very nice.
Wow...I love the last four lines. It was really great, and amazing. I think it's so sweet, and sad. That is one of the most original things I have seen on this site. It's sort of captivating. Anyways, thanks for a great write. Peace and love Aya
Well it sure makes you think... Don't know if I got your meaning here (not a bad thing) I sort of got a tongue-in-cheekiness about your choice of words. Very thoughtful, great idea. Be Happy Graeme
It's appealing in a strange way... I liked the way it flowed from one statement to the next... It offers a rather bleak outlook on life with a nice ending moment of peace... Very nice
The title appealed to me and I thought your piece very original and interesting. I liked the closing statement; 1 of calm amidst all the seemingly chaotic others of life. Well done! Love,Peace,Joy!
I thought that this was a very interessting write. I like it though, i guess the way you wrote it was just so appealing to the reader. The style of writing is original, great job on that. My fav. part would have to be the "i'm cold/ i'm lonely/ if only" i donno why it just is, great work :) *Samy*
very nice, it was a piece I could really envision, moreso like I was watching it rather than reading it, very cool. The whole thing just had a nice appeal and aura all the while holding its dark entitle...great work!
Submission Name: Silent with Me
