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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Goodbyedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bestdeceptions
    ASL Info:    17/F/SD
    Elite Ratio:    2.92 - 35/46/26
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 301
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 415



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsGoodbyedots
    -------------------------------------------


    you have no idea do you?
    How hard it is for me to, right now,
    stand in my broken shoes
    and tell you to never look back.
    Never to second guess this mistake
    knowing it will be the biggest one both of us will ever make in this course of our soon to be empty lives. With one tear that you can't see i slowly lift my hand and wave you off as if i am proud of this false goodbye.




    Submitted on 2005-06-29 14:09:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was awesome...remind me of a few times in my life...I like how you say in the end that it is a false goodbye...for some reason it made it more dramatic.Awesome lines.

    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Seperation is tough and without personalising too much, you've made that poem available to anyone and everyone to relate with. Love the poignant ending: wave you off as if i am proud of this false goodbye.
    I really like the indiscrimate feeling this has about, opening up to everyone who can grieve for goodbyes. Mothers, lovers or friend. Many levels and I think its great
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by Hidden_depths | [ Reply to This ]
      wow its good i really thought you were describing the very bottom hidden part of my brain i could relate i almost cried when i read the part that was written as "stand in my broken shoes" hit close to home
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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