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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This is my ode to youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: luvy
    ASL Info:    19/F/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 270/168/35
    Words: 236
    Class/Type: Rant/
    Total Views: 1191
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1347



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsThis is my ode to youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Im such a sweet little girl
    Im so smart
    Im so beautiful
    Im going to grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer
    Im the only dauhter you ever realy had

    These are the things that you tell.......
    my mother
    hoping she'll love you more

    your friends
    hoping they'll think your such a family man

    my friends
    hoping they'll think your nice

    These are the things you tell me hoping that ill think you love me
    These are the things you tell me when your sober

    Im a bitch
    Im a whore
    Everyone is to good for me
    You wish i was never born
    Im going to do drugs
    Im going to be a bum
    Hell if im lucky i might make it as hooker

    Those are the thoughts that are realy running through your sick and twisted mind.

    Those are the words that you let escape out of your drunken mouth.

    I cant wait for the day when your in one of your druken states that you say something so horrid that my she hates for the rest of your natural life

    ill be waiting for the day when she leaves your drunk ass in the ditch and divorces you

    Remember ill be waiting for that joyous day when i can realy tell you how much i loath you




    Submitted on 2005-06-29 14:43:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Iloved this poem. For the reason I can relate to verbal abuse in the family. You did a good job with this poem. You spoke your heart, and that's to me the best writing. I'm sorry if you lived through that. Great writing.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      o how sad! i never knew that was happening to you! why didnt u tell me! this was awesome very deep and filled with emotion! this was so sad good! love ya kisses and hugs
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this! It's crazy... you put some really deep thoughts into it. This is a great post. I enjoyed reading it. Allot of hasty words, and it was written well.
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it completly and totally, not because it was written well but because it goes along with thoughts people think everyday but no one has the courage to say. Unfourtunatly i do think you need to space it out alittle I found myself reading the same line over and over because I got lost and there are a few spelling errors, but that just shows you were caught up in writting it.

    Karios.
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by Karios | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow!Alot of hasty words, seems pretty deep though, kid. It was wild in term. It was nice how I was able to connect to it, especially since I'm in a bad humor type mood. It's always nice to rant about what on your mind. I sure hope the stuff you said here wasn't so tru as it sounded tho.
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
      this is crasy but i am sure it is happening to you or someone you no
    i am not at words lost but i guess i am
    you paint a cruel picture
    over my years my mom has done some things to
    better this person in your thought
    she is not dead yet but in my eyes she died 15 years ago as that is when i put my life seperate from hers anyways i like your poem just hits home
    great post enjoyable read
    thanx sandman
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      ur words are like blades
    that are slashing my veins
    u act nice in front of all of my friends
    but once we get home the real sh it begins
    it's like i see double
    when we're out it's cool, but at home i'm in trouble
    u have 2 hurt me with ur words and ur fists
    at times i wish that we'd both cease 2 exist

    i liked this one a lot. it was good even without a rhyme scheme. raw emotion made prose. another freestyle. mine is about my dad. i think ur poem is about ur stepdad right. i hope he stops being such a bi tch.
    "troy"
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]


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