Far Away by iluvpoetry

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Submission Name: Far Away dots

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Author:	iluvpoetry_1
Elite Ratio:	2.86 - 802/433/117
Words:	89

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	541
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	666

Description:
tell me if u like it!

Far Away dots

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Broken hearts
Silent tears
Guilt and denial
Everyday I feel this pain
Burning through my heart.
Don't want to cry
Don't want to die.
Without a hand to hold
Full-filled hearts
Happy smiles
Love and strong friendships
Is something I would die to have.
It seems so far away
Far away from happiness
Far away from drying my tears
Far away from smiles and laughter
Rain and pain
Tears and deppression
Surrounds like a black tear
A broken wall
A bleeding heart
Preventing me from standing tall
~akaila evonne~

Submitted on 2005-06-29 16:59:32 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  Nice, i liked the ending of it because, all of those feelings would seriously keep someone from standing tall. I'm sorry you feel this way because I feel this way everyday. I hope you feel happier!

Peace....for now or never
*Toxic*
| Posted on 2006-05-14 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  oh but u gotta stand tall like a maple
even if it's hard, do it to show the world that ur faithful
to ur beliefs especially the belief that Love conquers pain
i know i've got it good so kaila i can't complain
so young and so sad
i wish u weren't so far away from the things that u had
| Posted on 2006-07-16 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
  So much pain in this, yet I've been there myself. You did a good job of expressing your feelings in this piece..and yes, I do like it.

kris
| Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by Raindrops | [ Reply to This ]
  Pain and agony in this poem... I enjoyed it... it let me see the pessimism in the person and it really let me feel what the writter felt... nicely implanted the feeling of loneliness and a heavy heart... keep writting good luck
| Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
  i like to thinkthat wat you have with me would be considerd a strong friendship and therefore its not as far away as you think it is. but this was a great write i can realy relate because when i was in florida for the longes time i felt like my life was worhtless and god had made a huge mistake wen he put me on earth and wen i looked for people to comfort me there was no one because no one cared i almost went crasy but then i finally found people who cared and now you have to me!

~Gena~
| Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]
  You really express yourself very well. I undersand the feeling. I can see you have a very broken heart. Keep your head up one day you will find happiness. Love and friendship are hard to find, I know. But keep trying
| Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Highland Girl | [ Reply to This ]
  this was pretty good...i see where you are comin from...sometimes it feels like the world keeps hitting you with hard waves over and over again, leaving you no time to resurface and catch your breath before the next wave hits, knocking you down..."...preventing me from standing tall", that line hit me the hardest cuz you just want to make it through without falling flat on your face and these people just keep pulling you down, connecting your face with the floor once again...i mean really, how do you deal with it without cracking? and who lets these people run amok? they should be held in a maximum security cell, if you ask me...but are they? NOOOOO. i know it's a REALLY round about way of saying it, but i think your poem is truthful and addresses some important issues.
| Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by Alyra | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey , thats the same title as the poem i wrote .
But i really love your version of Far Away.Seems we think alike :)

Your version is more encompassing of things that truly matter in life .
My version is very specific to one person and maybe all of the feelings that are far away from you which you have mentioned in your poem escape me too...:(
| Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by Sophia | [ Reply to This ]
  HI, Now this is a wonderful write! I can really get into this poem, I love the words you choose to use. Some of your words are so strong they really stand out and that is what pulls in the reader. Great write here. I really loved this part...
"Rain and pain
Tears and deppression
Surrounds like a black tear
A broken wall
A bleeding heart
Preventing me from standing tall"
Those are true feelings that are strong.
Good piece, I must add this one to my fav.
Thankyou, Smiles...
| Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by pj5 | [ Reply to This ]

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