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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Swaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nebnim
    ASL Info:    21 - Female - My Room
    Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 284/405/75
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 402



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSwaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Flow through me
    Soft, snow-like
    Boiling
    Drawn in...shoved in
    Swimming
    Spooned
    Forced
    Holy and liberated
    Broken body
    Vented veins
    Sharp point
    Burned
    Cleaned
    Suck it in
    Soak it up
    Float...
    Terrifying euphoria
    Clench...let go
    Feeding my blood
    Let go...love...clench...slip




    Submitted on 2005-06-29 17:28:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is so fast... choppy... well written.
    i too am gonna go with saying it sounds very like you are talking about drugs and yet it is vague enough for it to be other things too...

    Terrifying euphoria

    kinda an oxymoron and yet makes complete sense... says so much in so few words...
    really... the only way to convey highs is to write like this or to use millions and millions of words... not many ppl can do either well... youve completely nailed it...

    Let go...love...clench...slip

    captures the cyclic addictive nature of addiction itself... very well done rachel... really...
    | Posted on 2005-07-03 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this...it is very emotional. I don't know if i'm right...but it seems as if it is about drugs...like needles and coke and stuff like that. Cuase of the white powder and the end reminds me of needles...*shivers* Needles scare me. I think the last 2 lines were really deep. Great job....


    Mikki
    <3
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really nice, Rachel.

    I'm reading this as a straight drug piece, although I suppose it could be a metaphor for other things.

    I love the last line. It somehow captures the circular, captivating nature of addiction. There are other thoughts in our protagonist's mind, but they just disappeared into a habit.

    "Let go...love...clench...slip"

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the choppy short lines and the way they actually ease into one another. The whole thing sounds to me like it might possibly be someone in the grips of heroin or some other injected drug, though it is vague enough that it could mean many things. Whatever it is I love the style...

    very intense

    Terrifying euphoria? Brilliant
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      DO NOT LET THIS OWN YOU
    I have been there, though I had a different choice in flavor
    You can get past it and writing instead of doing is a good way
    I can say it help me so keep writing
    Terence
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by mcgovern_xiii | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm. I definately know this is emotional. Very cause you can tell with all the words you used. I am still trying to figure it out.. Let me take a stab at it

    Guys just want to get something and than they are gone. They don't think nothing of it.

    or

    Someone just gets to you all the time, its not like you like the pereson its jsut that their words cause be quite hurtful..

    As you can see I am lost. very

    Can you pm me what this is about cause I would like to know

    stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      hi

    it seems like there are alot of extreme emotions in this poem, but i don;t understand them or understand what is going on. Go start though. It's very raw. Sometimes thats good.

    anna
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by annaeliz18 | [ Reply to This ]


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