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Can't Make Myself Disappear


Author: WaxingPoetic
ASL Info:    27 ~ Louisiana
Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 493 /563 /100
Words: 84
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1080
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 528



Description:


I just don't know. Found this, don't remember what I wuz going through when I wrote it.


Can't Make Myself Disappear



I swallow your words
And chase them down
With guilt

Never fully pleasing
Always lacking
That is all I am to you

So I hide behind my blinds
Of peace within myself
A solitude that can never be replaced

And I write these words to you
You give me the inspiration
All I need to live outside myself

I see the sun coming up
And envision you out of my life
But I can never make myself disappear...




Submitted on 2005-06-29 18:26:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Im instantly drawn to the opening because of the driking imagery employed. I like the original approach to this idea. In fact this whole piece is filled with some awsome imagery

I see the sun coming up
And envision you out of my life

I read this and hear the idea of starting over. Like a brand new day with this unfulfilling romance out of the way of you and some real internal peace, happinesss.

But I can never make myself disapear...

Hmm, had to think a little on that one. Are you talking about makeing the appropriate chages to your own feelings of self-worth that would enable you to leave this unhealthy relationship? That's kinda what I get out of the "disapear" idea, like something aout you has to change or to be no more in order for you to take that drastic step of leaving. But what is it? The guilt mentioned in the first stanza perhaps? But how can guild live withing someone along side teh inner peace mentioned in the second stanza? Since the inner peace seems pretty strong and stead-fast the way you discribed it. That makes me rethink my whole interpretation of the poem. Maybe this other person isnt' a boyfriend like it's so easy to assume. Maybe it's a parent. And you can't dissapear because parents are always gonna be there (even when you move out, trust me) And the concept is really about not being able to live up to a parents expectations (Never fully pleasing/Always lacking).

I haven't thought this hard over a poem in a while. I never consider it to be a waste of time though, even if both my interpretations where nothing like what you where aiming for, it was still a fun ride for me and I have you to thank.

Well Done

Spoken
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by spoken | [ Reply to This ]
  this is a short but good poem, there are no spelling errors and the flow od the poem is there from begining to end, one thing that might help the poem is if you put some periods and commas in it, because there are no, and they help because then the reader can pause and the full meaning of the words can then sink in.

other then that this poem reminds me of someone being stuck in a very bad relationship, and if so get out, I'd have to say that my favorite stanzas would be

"I swallow your words
And chase them down
With guilt

Never fully pleasing
Always lacking
That is all I am to you"

and i like these so much because of the emotion that comes through.

~liz~
| Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]


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