Description: I kind of sang this as I wrote it... so I'm sure it probably should be listed as lyrics, but I thought it made a good poem too. lol
Hope you like this... its the first thing i've written and been proud of in so long.
To Me You're Like the River -------------------------------------------
There aren't too many people who know what it is like
Fallin' in love as the river dances with the heat of night,
But so many know just how it feels to fall so hard for you
They've hit their knees and wished for you-- oh just like I do...
And to me you're silver moonlight up against dark blue,
A way to wash away the hurt and come back new,
A whisper of "I love you" wrapped up in a blanket on the sand,
You're the one thats washed my heart away-- the way that only a river can...
After another sleepless night I've come back to where heaven first began,
Tears in my brown eyes and a note in my hand.
The water sings to me Mother Nature's lullaby
And I plunge into the water as the dawn begins to cry...
And to me you're silver moonlight up against dark blue,
A way to take the pain away and be born brand new,
And a whisper of "I'll always love you" on some paper in the sand.
So go on and wash my soul away-- the way that only a river can...
This was... enchanting, the only adjective that I think goes with this. Even the title is, its just... wow, you should be proud of this, I can't find any flaws with it and yes, it does make a poem, and a pretty awesome one at that. Personal favourite line(s) have to be:
"And to me you're silver moonlight up against dark blue, A way to wash away the hurt and come back new"
That is the most lyrical part of the poem, which is why I like it so much, but the imagery is just brilliant. A definate favourite. Brilliant work!
Nice piece of writing. Lots of good imagery, and a nice soft tone. Really nice lines like 'to me you're silver moonlight up against dark blue'. I like the metaphor of love as a river.
For poetry "or" lyrics it's really quite nice. I agree with Doc about the "cleansing" instead of washing away part. Very good write. I really like the theme. My suggestion (and that's all it is)... instead of saying "the way only a river can" .. maybe shorten it a bit to "as only a river can" ?? Very good job . An enjoyable read. ~Sandra
this would be the most beautiful song...i kinda sang it to myself, and it really sounded nice and went well together...god! i love this! its so great!...i definitly think you should focus on making this into lyrics...put a chorus and maybe a bridge into it??? its really great!
I agree with you and think this could very well be lyrics to a good song but, it sure does make a pretty poem. I might would word it to where the river is cleansing the soul instead of washing it away but that is only a suggestion on my part. It does have a very powerful meaning behind it and so I think it is a good write. I enjoyed reading your poem. !Doc`
Submission Name: To Me You're Like the River
