Rocket Sparks
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Description:
This is how i felt this Fourth of July even though i went to the inner harbor to see the fireworks
Rocket Sparks
Bottlerockets Kept dormant; Sitting, waiting For the 4th of July When they burst free Of their cardboard shells To feel the air To see the light. You and I We sit on the lawn Inhaling green smoke From the explosion. Gunpowder rises. Feel the rockets' force Shooting from the grass One hundred feet in the air. These artificial stars These givers of light Into the summer night; Sparks in the sky. Bright colors, Incandescent hues, Take my breath away. Take me away. I want to burst out On a rocket; Bright green rocket Fly me to the moon. I want to see the sky too, To feel the wind And the stars Light up the night. Break out of my case, Explode in the air, Shatter to pieces Of shimmering dust. Let's turn our bodies Into ephemeral sparks And glow Magnesium and copper. You and I We illuminate the sky. |
Submitted on 2005-06-29 22:25:58 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments
A thoughtful plea for liberation (on the Fourth of July, no less) played against the limitless expanse of the night sky (as if children were pretending to be skyrockets as they danced in an open field). This was a very innocent write with a simple vocabulary, style and layout (in keeping with theme). I wouldn't change anything. Nicely done. Take care. Bill.| | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ] | I noticed that you never capitalized "I." hmmm.... | I honestly thought this was a little choppy, like I had some trouble getting into a rhythm. Whenever I read a poem for the first time, it's like I'm trying to find the rhythm more than reading it. But I did like it. I think this is something sort of different for you, more minimalist than usual. It reminds me of thise 4th of July that I spent at the beach a few years ago. :) love, danielle | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by Kalidoscopeeyes | [ Reply to This ] | |
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