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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Midnight Sonatadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Poechick13
    ASL Info:    16/f/IN
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 42/59/22
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 230
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 377



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMidnight Sonatadots
    -------------------------------------------


    My funeral gown rustles as I dance.
    The white so virgin it blinds my eyes.
    Yet, with this new vision, I do behold-
    Narrating bloodstains, the curse of death’s prize.
    Each moment I sculpt the air with my arms-
    I discern one more soul sing muted cries.
    The hum of despair, a humorous grief-
    Violin plays as my sonata dies.




    Submitted on 2005-06-29 23:44:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think it stands fine on its own. Very well written and formatted. Lots of good lines here like 'The white is so virgin it blinds my eyes.' (though I would delete 'is').

    Good work.

    Peace,

    Joey
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      well this poem is a little different, mean it's good an all but
    i think that it could be a little longer... a little longer as in a few more stanzas more. Anyway, I like the imagery of it, good solid point of it, and I also think that you should use some literary devices a little tohugh, to make it you know, a little better... but who am I to judge, the likeingness is in the eye of the beholder... THNX

    - Nammy

    P.S. (like - ing - ness) jus tto help a little bit
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]



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