[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Tannudots

    Author: Ramneet
    ASL Info:    33/F/Boston
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 265/107/53
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1053
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 543

       True feedback

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    A new born baby with a angelic face,
    born on a lucky day at a lucky place.

    A God's blessing,
    Janabji's prayer,
    A Gift for all,
    Happiness of everyday,
    Lucky for all,
    Promise of tomorrow,
    Dream of yesterday.

    "Tannu is my niece.Her real name is Tanya.I sometimes call her Tannu.She is really very cute little doll.I really love her very much.I have used a word Janabji in the poem who is our Guru.I hope you will enjoy the poem."

    Submitted on 2005-06-30 14:00:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is sweet and loving! I believe the spirit of an Angel dwells with a child giving it radiance and compelling us to embrace it with love and utmost compassion and care!

    | Posted on 2011-03-06 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      The poem is short and it IS very lovely...it is difficult to give much criticism beyond this as it is very, very short...in line one it should read "an angelic.." rahter than "a angelic"... again, a lovely little poem ... bravo .... bravo ... bravo...
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this write very much
    One cant help but feel the Love you have for your niece
    All I can say is she is one very lucky little girl
    It sounds like she has a very loving family unit that will help her move forward in life
    I hope you share this write with her when she is old enough to understand
    Beautiful Work
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2006-09-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate with your writing. I reminds me of my little girls when they were born. Sincerity in your writing is unquestionable, because its personal to you.

    First two lines looks like an intro. Thou related with the next lines, it kinda lost the flow. Short and sweet, it wouldnt hurt to add more to sustain your clamatic endind lines.

    Thanks for reminding me with your poem. I just need to look for the one I made for my kid while waiting for her to be born.
    | Posted on 2005-09-18 00:00:00 | by wakethedead | [ Reply to This ]

    Did you try breaking the first to lines into smaller chunks? I like the way it reads that way.

    A new born baby
    with a angelic face,
    born on a lucky day
    at a lucky place.

    Do you need the passive voice in these lines?
    Promise of tomorrow,
    Dream of yesterday.

    Promised tomorrows,
    Dreaming yesterday.

    I like it the way it is. Just throwing out a different way of looking at it.
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Linger written by saartha
    AI written by poetotoe
    Fasade written by jackz
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    True Death written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Summer written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]