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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Her Finger Points To Heavendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Reckoner
    Elite Ratio:    5.04 - 122/164/128
    Words: 402
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 319
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2658



    Description:
       just pointing out that your first time means nothing, The first time you make love to the other piece of your heart, the seed that you were fated to grow inside of you...that is your first time....when everything is opened up and consumed without the effects of fear and betrayal swimming around inside of you....when you realize that your friend's traits and desires consume you more than your own..thats it..


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    dotsHer Finger Points To Heavendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Inside there is still a need
    To harbor these few sensibilities
    Now and until I am proven wrong
    The cynical beast will always devour
    The fleshier part of her

    Beneath the fissure
    A deep depression
    Where the sacrificial lava flows
    Another tear is wrenched away
    By scorching winds
    That unearth once again, his childlike aggression

    The deadened pulp
    Conveys no memory of his several attempts
    Afterward equals pain without feeling
    The moment of pleasure was gone so long ago
    One day she will want it back, but for now she tells it to go

    The original pleasure
    Buried along with the name of her first love's endeavor
    Her eyes unforgiving now
    This dripping pilot snapped her heartstrings over the sea
    And cleansed his overbearing nature with furtile seeds
    Into the black ocean, he threw her unwanted soul

    But the unfortunate effects of an enslaved youth
    Could not obscure her profound knowledge of the real truth
    The voyage was never fully completed, she still believed in love
    Never satisfied, during any previous encounter
    She taught herself to atleast try to find another

    This radiant creature cloaked by a morbid pen
    Caught our wilting flower by complete suprise back then
    Compliments filtered down like icy water to cool her bruised cheeks
    With such raw emotion, his soul offered something very unique
    A trivial plunge into an empty pool, could take a lesser man's life
    But the stars would intercede, fate had already claimed her to be my wife

    A frost covered invitation
    Inside of her mirage of a beating heart
    The purest of feelings, morphed into a promise as the freeze lifted
    And the twin spirits that were once congealed on both sides of the valley
    Shattered seasonably, to form loving arms and changing leaves

    Under the crushing fumes of a sweat covered lullaby
    She felt the force of his breath
    Bite down indefinately on those last remaining doubts
    Words full of endearing tones
    Dragged out those long forgotten moans
    All of his obsessions penetrating her deep, inside her ears and rolled back eyes

    And when daylight came, both were asleep
    She had been his first
    And he had replaced her's
    The tradegys of the past that rejoiced in brevity
    Could no longer steal her away from her own heart and her true destiny






    Submitted on 2005-06-30 16:20:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      eeeeerg....awwwwwwkward. tis one in the same... but you know that now. first is my first. raggle.
    | Posted on 2006-08-29 00:00:00 | by angelfyre | [ Reply to This ]
      Now THAT is what I'm talking about. God, some of the poetry on this site has been really disappointing me recently but that poem is amazing. First of all well done! I really enjoyed reading that. I think I liked it so much because you wrote from deep, deep down inside your heart. I can completely relate to this poem, you make a very interesting point throughout the poem that was described and explained to perfection, so much so that even if I couldn't relate to this I would still fell the emotion conveyed. What I also loved was the way the first two lines rhymed, I think the way the verses are structured is original. Also you dont get lazy with your writing, none of it is simple, not once was I bored reading. This is a very clever and enjoyable poem. I know I'm supposed to critize but really I cant, even the title was intrigueing. love n things, Myth xx
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by popular_myth | [ Reply to This ]



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