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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: “No Such thing”dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mcgovern_xiii
    ASL Info:    35/M/NewEngland
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 70/91/26
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Serious
    Total Views: 1032
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 802



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots“No Such thing”dots
    -------------------------------------------




    Oh at what age,
    do you tell a child?

    How tempestuous,
    How vile,
    How temporary.
    this world is.

    At what point is innocence
    to be left behind?

    Too early or too late,
    Either way you can’t be right.

    So should I tell her that monsters are real
    But Santa Clause is a lie,
    “That jolly man you love is just a lie.”

    Or will I stand straight-faced.
    Or ever really be sure,
    that there are no monsters under her bed.

    I think I will wait one more day.

    “There are no such thing monsters, sweetie.”
    “Now go back to sleep or Santa won’t come.”



    Terence McGovern ‘05




    Submitted on 2005-06-30 18:54:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      this piece to me seems to be fine, its seems as though that the parential figure it comes from has come to realize that parenting is always a new experience its cannot be thought and only learn and gained though real life its seems as though that the fabrication of the innocence of the world that parent has surround the child with in the name of comfort and joy and "trying to be a god mother/father what have you has backfired, like an "oh god what have i done" sort of thing to bad be can't expose our child to the evil earlier in life without the rightous social and moral taboos that go with not to mention keeping a staight edge on the kid. so are we to isolate children of teach diversity.
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by one who rages | [ Reply to This ]
      A well thought out poem b/c it's one of those that's hard to express beyond words...A childs youth and obliviousness to the world is the most important thing...Should we lie to them or tell the truth...the best thing is to say nothing at all...let them learn the truth by themselves...not by you...what I'm saying is you should only be there to comfort them when they hit bottom ground and know the truth...that santa clause isn't real-or is he...Hear me out-we choose to believe what we want to believe-which is tainted by society...We lost something when we left childhood-the truth, faith, and hope...society changed our view.
    a child possesses the strongest of faiths b/c he/she does not know the meaning of judgement...so until he reaches the age of reasoning-he is the truest and purest and brightest soul-for he holds no grudge...

    To say there is no such thing as anything-I think-is being stupid and naive...there's not such thing b/c we were taught that by our parents and by society...why tell a child that when we ourselves really have no prove of it...We unfortunely choose to see to believe...

    I don't know-this is a great poem and sparks many questions and thoughts which is the best kind of poem...

    "Oh at what age,
    do you tell a child?

    How tempestuous,
    How vile,
    How temporary.
    this world is."

    why tell a child such a thing..b/c it saves them the grief of learning on their own...no, let them learn slowly but surely they'll choose to believe whatever it is they believe and if it isn't in the boundaries of society don't shun him or think him crazy-b/c he may be the saniest person to believe that there are monsters or the easter bunny-it's another faith...a faith...

    "At what point is innocence
    to be left behind?

    Too early or too late,
    Either way you can’t be right"

    No one knows the exact age of lost innocence, it depends on the child and his surroundings-does he grow up to fast or slowly...and you're right tell me late or early-would just ruin the childs imagination...don't tell him at all..let him find out.

    "“There’s no such thing monsters, sweetie.”
    “Now go back to sleep or Santa won’t come.”

    Tell him his fears doesn't exist but keep the lie of happiness within his reach...still a lie and no way out...

    Let him believe the good and the bad...

    I enjoyed this poem and made me think...you have a thing for that...thank-you very much.

    Until the next thought should be answered
    -stacey-
    | Posted on 2005-07-01 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
      This was one of those pieces that astounded me with it's truthfulness and simplicity. How DO you tell a child that there is no Santa or tooth fairy or Easter bunny? Is that not just admitting to a series of horrible crual lies? And how can you really tell a child that monsters do not lie under her bed? Sure, there may not be a big hairy beast lurking in the shadows, but the world is filled with hatred and sin and horror. Things that are the true monsters in life.

    And now onto the actual poem. I liked everything about it, and I especially liked that you used a natural dialect, that of talking to a child. I hate when people overly correct their grammar in simple poems like these. It kind of ruins it for me...and I want to be an english teacher. But I lived the flow and the word choice, although the place where you rhymed 'lie' with 'lie' made me cringe a bit. I think the only correction you could make would be to alter that somehow.

    Anyway, this piece was awesome and it made me think, which is definately an aspect of a GREAT piece. This is going in my favorites!
    | Posted on 2005-07-01 00:00:00 | by Scribbles1338 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...this work of yours has really inspired me. Nice work....really nice.

    I'm only 16 true, and I think about this many times. What is the actual age where innocence is lost? I think it really depends on the maturity level of the child. People keep children in wild and curious states of minds with all their talk of santa claus and the easter bunny....when also we tell our kids there's nothing under the bed...like you said, how can we be so sure of that? Who's sure of anything anymore?? Nice points you've portrayed here in this piece.

    A few technical things to be mentionned in this piece but I see azrael has already pointed those out so I won't take up space. Anyway, I feel the same...who is sure of anything and why do we fill our kids' heads with such...all very interesting...

    This is going in my favorites.

    --Jac
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by wanderingpoet16 | [ Reply to This ]
      I truly enjoyed this piece. It reminds me of a few years ago, when I was friends with this girl whose mother was a complete control freak-they had only a few "nice, non-perverted, non-violent" channels in their TV, and every move my former friend made was cautiously monitored by her mother. Because of this, she didn't know of any of the world's misery, of the "darker" aspect of things. My mother first let me watch an R-rated movie when I was around 6 or 7 (with her supervision, of course...the movie wasn't even that bad, it was "Interview with the Vampire") and I knew the deeper facts of life early on. Because, my mother explained, we can't go on thinking life is a meadow of pink flowers, with bunnies hopping around and people hugging each other. There are harsher realities out there. This poem made me think of that, and how our innocence fades away as we grow older; how our childhood days were sheltered from sadness and anger, death and misery. These are thoughts I've long forgotten, and you, unaware, have brought them back through this piece. Thank you.

    Now, on to criticism. I wouldn't change any sentences; there were just a few grammar mistakes:

    "Or will I stand straight faced."
    -"Straight-faced" should be hyphenated.

    “There’s no such thing monsters, sweetie.”
    -"There are no such things as monsters" or "There is no such thing as a monster."

    I'm sure the above were committed unpurposefully as you typed this poem onto here. Once again, very nice work, and thank you for sharing.
    -Azrael
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by Tears of Azrael | [ Reply to This ]


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