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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Pathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Desi
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 210/151/34
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 985
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 449



    Description:
       Just thinking of a gravely ill friend...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Pathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Shrouded with uncertainty, happiness and despair..

    The path of life through which we walk can
    sometimes be unfair..

    Remeber this when times are gray and
    clouds block each new day..

    You have the strength to go on and not be
    lead astray..

    At the end, a new life begins and he will
    lead the way..

    And we shall share eternity, forever may we pray..




    Submitted on 2005-07-01 04:15:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think a verse like this is greatly encouraging to your friend. To be though of when ill is healing, and being reminded of a better world in the end is uplifting.
    | Posted on 2011-08-17 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very spiritual,but it made since.
    Don't get down on life, he will be there for us right? Your writtings go from one thing to another. This is a good thing! It means you have a great imagination and that in it self keeps people interested.
    | Posted on 2005-11-02 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good.
    it was short but really powerful.
    something that i think alot of people can feel really close to.

    im sorry to hear about your friend. i hope that they get better.

    'Shrouded with uncertainty, happiness and despair..

    The path of life through which we walk can
    sometimes be unfair..'

    i really like the beginging. it was really just to the point.
    sometimes it isnt a good style but it worked really well for this.
    it was simple and really got your attention.
    your rhyming was good throughout the poem also, except i might suggest that the last four parts.. either the 3rd and 4th or 5th and 6th last words be changed because they all rhyme. so it gets a little old by the last time.
    but its just an opinion.
    great job-
    jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]


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