Description: this is basically what my dream consisted of last night. I woke up thinking wtf was that so I put it down on paper as they happenened in my head. It wasw a trip. but you see I dont know if everyone can do this but....I can tell my self while I am dre3aming that this is ONLY a dream. And so none of this is really going to effect you all that much in real life so open up and enjoy and experience what this dream has to offer you. Get what you can then wake up.
so I can understand if you think that it is just a bunch of little liners for a kick but this is really what I saw. Great flick...
Sir Buster Hymen & REM (TONITEONLY) -------------------------------------------
In that place.
Neither here nor there.
Scary place to be,
when you don’t care if you care.
People go by.
Like what’s his name ya missed.
You only wear a watch,
to tell you have a wrist.
Playing in theatre 7….
re-runs of yesterday’s good times.
Overlapping with captions.
They decorate your mind.
You seek out love,
yet you hope not to find it.
The stomach doesn’t get knots.
When you already tied it.
You walk with a limp.
Just for a way out.
In is easy.
It’s going in when everyone else is coming out.
Imbedded in my head.
Like Earl the Texas imbred.
And Sally the midget ya just wed.
Happy Meals and Burger King.
Nothing, more or less and everything.
Was it something you ate?
You got fucked but you didn’t get laid?
Here M&M’s are diamonds.
And you’re bustin hymens.
Licorece and cigarettes.
Every wish and compliments.
Peanut butter… always summer.
the deleted scenes
were never completed at all…
I think you're big line was- Here M&M’s are diamonds. And you’re bustin hymens. I used to dream so much, now it's so in the realm. One strange dream I remember was that I was a child playing hopscotch and the sun followed me on every move. I think that meant naivete. Did I even spell that right. Anyhow, I had these lyrics (along w/ this weird synthesizer) that sounded so dreamy: "reflections in a pool of blood, oh my love where can you be? as long as you catch the sun, as long as you are free. why'd it have to be this way? why'd it have to be this way? why'd you have to go? ( then guitar riff) Sorry, I was reminiscing from a band I had a while ago that recorded a project called, "Dilemma" it was so abstract. But, it was strangely cool. I may play on Thursday, but am not sure across the street where the White Stripes will play at Yesteryears. We really want to catch the show at the Glass House, so if we have enough time I will cross the street and ask Teddy and Elizabeth if I can have 45 minutes. It's still up in the air... xo pioneerheart
Hmm, my favorite dreams are the ones that you wake up going " What the f.uck just happened??" This poem reminds me of just that kind of dream. Aren't those fun? To me, this was a fun piece, but also with a layer of something just a little dark, possibly a bit sinister underneath. Hmm... Traci :)
Awesome. I love it. I mean, it's not every day you come across a poem that attempts to get the dream down on paper, the way it is. If you know what I mean. Like the way you wrote this, I felt as if I was inside your mind, as if I were an intruder, or a voyeur if you like. The jumping from image to thought to image, everything that the mind tells me makes no sense, yet makes perfect sense whilst dreaming it. This is a mind-[censored], and I'm a sucker for mind [censored] poems. But I like how it's not like that on purpose!
You know what, although this seems like it makes no sense, it does to me. I find some meaning in it. well, there is a logic to everything. even in the babble of the insane.
'You got [censored]ed but you didn't get laid?' I don't know why this is my favourite line, it just is. Somehow it seems to sum up life in general..
I like how your pieces are so different and interesting. Thanks for the read, and this is a fave-for obvious reasons.
We have many dreams a night that are only seconds long, images flashing through your mind. I believe that you think this is a complete dream, but actually bits and pieces of many. By writing them down, maybe you will find a pettern to these dreams, and figure out what they are truely about. When we can tell ourselves, in our dreams, that this is just a dream, or even change our dreams as we are dreaming them, they are called lucid dreams.
This was really an interesting read. We were allowed a glimpse into you thoughts, your mind if you will. And a very wierd mind it is. Very humorous and random. Nothing makes sense or corresponds with anything. Its a trait we all have.
Thanks for sharing these bizarre thoughts with us. Every dream has a meaning, its just trying to decipher them that is such a problem.
In college I took an abnormal psychology class and we had to keep dream journals. While mine consisted of mostly dreams of flying and my mother plotting grand schemes against me, some mornings looked an awful lot like this piece.
I kind of liked the rhyming being thrown in, as all dreams seem to make sense when you are dreaming them- even when you are talking to someone and a pig flies between the two of you. For some reason it makes sense. I think the rhyming gives this piece a sense of order while the conscious part of our cranium is going, What? Did I miss a memo? That makes no sense. While this is not my 'favoritest' piece of yours, it seems like it was fun to write and probably a gaggle of laughs to read the mass confusion from those who are so based in reality that dreams can't come true... Thanks for the looking glass moment! Hope you are well, -Chell-
sorry, I pressed enter on accident and it sent my other critique unfinished. (I suppose I will just start where I left off). I love the lines, "You only wear a watch, to tell you have a wrist." This is so perfectly worded and I don't think this idea could have been portrayed any better. I also like, "Playing in theatre 7…. re-runs of yesterday’s good times. Overlapping with captions. They decorate your mind. You seek out love, yet you hope not to find it." I like the idea of overlapping captions because dreams often mix arouns and yesterdays fun is so perfect because dreams are often composed of what happened in the past. I reall like this peice, this is definitely going to be a favorite. Thanks for the read, PEACE.
I really this peice becuase it has such ackward randomness that is often associated with dreams. You skip around a lot but it doesn't take from the poem at all, in fact I think that it inhances the meaning you are really trying to convay, nothing in particular. I wish you wouldn't rhyme though, I don't think that it does awfully well with the poem. Other thatn that I loved it.
i think they are just lines that kind of rhyme thrown together... They dont really flow all that well either. even if this is a BLAH poem... I think it could use some work. Its not easy to follow, thus not easy to enjoy, even if it has no meaning, people want to read it, not stumble over it. You can have words that mean absolutely nothing that are still fun to read over... I have a couple of my old drafts that i'll put up for you to see if you want... One thing is that the verses are too random, make the syllables match more and you could improve this a LOT! Think about it... keep writing though. Luke/Lareth
Um... I think i missed something, i have no clue what point you are trying to get across here. I read it twice and i am just not seeing any definate direction. Sorry if i'm being thick and missing a stupidly obvious central point for this piece, but it doesn't get through to me at all. It seems to wander everywhere.
Imbedded in my head. Like Earl the Texas imbred.
Like those lines...? Eh? Where the hell did Earl come from and what the hell has he got to do with Sally?
Am i just having a blonde moment here or is this just a bunch of lines that kind of rhyme thrown together? Danny