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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: obscuredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: splifford
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 39/42/16
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 274
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 757



    Description:
       i think to myself, why can't i write a poem that says " I " twenty times


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsobscuredots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want you to say it first. I want the worst.
    I want it to start like the end.
    I want it to hurt, like a father losing his son.
    I am the toastmaster. The night has just begun.
    I will never sleep again. I will ignore the sun.
    I must confess. I'm depressed. I'm infatuated.
    There's so much I want to discuss.
    There's so much I want to touch.
    I don't care about history, I don't care about you and me.
    I don't care about your code, I don't care about what I don't know.
    I don't care if your words hurt, I don't care if I'm a jerk.
    Solid gold so they say,
    but they cut it with nickel because that's the way.




    Submitted on 2005-07-01 22:27:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i think that this was alot more of a personal poem.
    had a lot of your feelings to it.
    it was like you were making a statement.
    saying this is what you think.

    'I must confess. I'm depressed. I'm infatuated.
    There's so much I want to discuss.
    There's so much I want to touch.'

    i really like this part. well done.
    this was all you-
    jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting. You can use I as much as you want. If its your original work, your honest poetry...who cares what others really think? I like the back and forth flow of this piece, its rhythm made it kind of sing-songy... The rhyming couplet that appealed to me the most was.."There's so much I want to discuss/There's so much I want to touch..."
    | Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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