Family Love. by wordslinger

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Submission Name: Family Love. dots

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Author:	wordslinger
Elite Ratio:	6.49 - 231/97/30
Words:	71

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	228
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	435

Description:
Hi. This is a VERY HAPPY POEM ABOUT LOVE and HARMONY and shit like that.

Family Love. dots

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You suck.
I hate you and I don't even know you.
But you suck and I want you to die
and for no reason let me repeat
burn in a fiery hell where doom
is for breakfast, sex with the least
favorable partner for lunch, and
being breastfed by a goat with herpes
for dinner.
So burn, baby, burn.
You suck.

And I don't care if I don't know you.

Submitted on 2005-07-02 14:23:52 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  I liked that to some degree the poem is supported by the degeneration of family in terms of the surface lines of filfth and how that was exposed at the end in the line where he/she states that they don't know the person. It seems like a portrait of a teenage tantrum. Interesting piece but I'd agree that there's room for more. DB
| Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  The title tells me this may be deeply personal.

My feeling is that if a poem says what the poet intended it to say it is a good poem. On that count I give you a bravo!

Your feelings here are certainly clear. Not everyone understands or appreciates the expressions of others. That is not the purpose of poetry.

From where I see it, this poem is typical of many attitudes I encounter on a daily basis. I see them driving down the road. You capture those feelings quite well.

This is not poetry like Sandburg, Frost, Dickinson, Longfellow or Poe. I don't however feel that was your intent.

You had something to say and you said it.

I am glad you shared it.
| Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
  well this is possibly an attack at the cliché.
but then the attack at the cliché has become the cliché.
so if you do it, it needs to be funny.
and this is not really funny enough. i raised a small smile and now i will move on to something that means something.
and if that is what you wanted, then that is fine, but it seems that this rather attention seeking piece demanded a little more time than that.
more like a screaming child or cat that sticks its ar-se in your face and wont fu-ck off.

you can tell the insecure and needy a mile off.

on1eday.co.uk
| Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, I didn't understand this at all. I mean I did but...
It wasn't eloquent or even really phrased at all. Words can be so beautiful and it's really a shame to call a 12 line piece with the word 'suck' in it three times poetry. I can understand being angry at someone, but there must be some even remotely enjoyable way to express it. To me this wasn't poetry, it was simply one person expressing something in a way that would be better left alone. I don't mean to sound so harsh...it's just that I didn't understand your concept here. In my opinion the job of a poet is to make you look at something in a way you wouldn't have otherwise; and all this did was make me think of a thousand other dramatic highschool fights that leave a girlfriend so angry at a boyfriend. It just didn't seem like art to me.

Again, sorry if I'm sounding harsh, it's simply my humble opinion.

=Emma=
| Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by Emma_closes | [ Reply to This ]

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