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Rebecca: Australia -1954


Author: Malcolm Bishop
Elite Ratio:    2.09 - 355 /189 /39
Words: 701
Class/Type: Fanfic /Dark
Total Views: 1351
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 4712



Description:




Rebecca: Australia -1954



The red dust imbedded in the creases of her face,
Elsa Freenan stood before her family in this remote place.
The wind whipped her hair,swirled dust about her feet,
her mind went back to when her heart met permanent defeat.
As a young girl she would spend summers on her uncles' ranch,
she'd run with the sheep,climb to her favorite branch.
A beautiful child was she,
her smile, a miracle, could calm any sea.
One noon while Elsa frolicked with the sheep,
her uncle watched from the porch,his wife asleep.
With a beer in his hand,suds running down his knuckles,
a gleam shone from his eye,throat emitted a chuckle.
He bided his time, waited for her slumber,
he crept into her room, the devil had called her number.
With that gleam in his eye,and creak of the door,
young Elsa lost her innocence,it oozed from her pores.
As the years progressed,her mind seethed with hate,
Elsa went about her life,plotting her familys' fate.
She blamed them all for what had transpired,
where were thay when her soul was mired?
Her two brothers,a sister,her mother and father too,
Elsa had a special thought for uncle,her plan grew.
It had been fifteen years since innocence lost,
Elsa Freenan would have her revenge at any cost.
There existed a natural wonder behind uncles' ranch,
six boulders in a row,quite by happenstance.
One stone for each family member,
when this deed was done all would remember.
Each stone was roughly six feet high,six across,
these were props in the plan which would achieve lives lost.
On the third day of March,annual family dinner,
Elsa executed the plan to execute the sinners.
In each members meal,and in her uncles' beer,
Elsa placed a tranquilizer used on excitable sheep when sheered.
Almost at once, in the middle of eating,
they all sunk to blackness,consciousness fleeting.
Since her siblings were small,Elsa took them first,
Elsas' mother,father,and uncle would be heavy, she'd work up a thirst.
Finally,after much sweat and creative thinking,
Elsa stood before her family,a beer drinking.
She observed what was done,her work at an end,
once a straight line,her life at a bend.
Each lay spread eagle on a stone, bound,
wrists and ankles tied taught to stakes driven in ground.
For uncle,Elsa had a special treat,
a trail of honey from mouth to ground,what a feat!
Elsa stood with wind in hair,smirk on face,
the ants,shade of red,began the march to a fleshy place.
Slowly,and one by agonizing one,
each arose to face the hellish sun.
They pleaded and screamed against their fate,
Elsa Freenan grinned,her heart beat the same rate.
Her uncles' mouth filled with unfathomable pain,
he writhed and contorted,his heart stopped from strain.
As time slipped on each one passed,
Elsa had broken all six bodies, as glass.
She let them bake under a burning star,
Elsa planned to leave,to venture far.
On the day before she was to vacate,
she took one last look at her family,her mind to placate.
A sudden gust from the east made her turn,
a dust storm in the distance,sun continued to burn.
Elsa watched as the wall of dust drew close,
it was swift and stronger then most.
There she stood,transfixed at this wonder,
at peace was she,family torn asunder.
As Elsa stood mesmerized,
a silhouette formed in the dust before her eyes.
Now a hundred yards in distance,
Elsa stood dazed,offered no resistance.
The silhouette that had taken shape,
was that of a woman,the hair stood on Elsas' nape.
The wind stopped as it had begun,
with abruptness, Elsa had the desire to run.
The woman from the storm strolled at leisurely pace,
Elsa could not move,in two heartbeats they were face to face.
An inky dread filled her chest,
the woman had a grin, as if in jest.
Her hair was as black as oceans' depths,
a beauty that ascended heavens' steps.
With a suddenness, the ground jerked beneath feet,
the earth birthed a large stone,with terror, Elsa replete.
Elsa shouted to God to be spared this fate,
but Elsa hadn't spared her family,heart full of hate.
"Upon this stone you will die as your kin,
after mortal form is gone,true suffering begins."




Submitted on 2005-07-02 17:01:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  WOW! I am a little lost for words which is not so usual for me... As far as describing it from an Australian point of view I think that you did very well...it has a very Aussie feel about it...you describe the dirt and dust the farm so vivdly that I can picture it just so in my mind. It is a very eerie poem in some ways...full of sadness and hate...the start makes me feel for Elsa and the second part for her family...it is exactly as it would be if this did in fact take place...may i ask is it true? the date makes me feel as though it is?? If so I can totally relate to all of the feelings in this..being a survivor of this same abuse...my uncle being one of my perps..which is probably why it has me frozen inside in some ways...and my brain a little numb as it hit me very hard...but not so much that I couldnt read or appreciate it...you have done a fantastic job and are great writer...it is long but extremely well written...it takes a lot to keep my concetration like that...as far i can see there is nothing at all wrong with the flow or structure...when read slow and exact it is spot on...im adding this to favs...thank you for sharing and asking me to read this... i will be taking time to read more of your work as soon as i have more time...stormy
| Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
  WOW!!Amazing poem. The sadness and hatred went straight to my heart. And the way you made such a long poem rhyme at every line is genius. I absolutely loved it. The darkness of it was amazing. This could be a tales from the crypt short movie, AWESOME!!
| Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
  WOW!!Amazing poem. The sadness and hatred went straight to my heart. And the way you made such a long poem rhyme at every line is genius. I absolutely loved it. The darkness of it was amazing. This could be a tales from the crypt short movie, AWESOME!!
| Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed this read a lot Malcolm. The flow was bumpy in just a few spots, but all in all well done. I enjoy reading story type poetry and this filled the bill nicely. I liked the way you let the "rape" just happen in your imagination and not graphic to the point where it turns the reader off. Good job with a great twist at the end.
Carol
Oh, and by the way, thanks for reading my Haiku. I finally got the size of the picture right.
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed this read a lot Malcolm. The flow was bumpy in just a few spots, but all in all well done. I enjoy reading story type poetry and this filled the bill nicely. I liked the way you let the "rape" just happen in your imagination and not graphic to the point where it turns the reader off. Good job with a great twist at the end.
Carol
Oh, and by the way, thanks for reading my Haiku. I finally got the size of the picture right.
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
  Terrific! Great ballad! You seem to prefer story-telling, even in your poerty. This is a great story, rather bleak and horrific, and moralistic at the end, but it has all the elements of a short story. A tale of twisted and true justice. Crime does not pay. Loved it!

Phil
| Posted on 2005-07-03 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't usually read too many "dark" posts.. but for you, I'll make the exception
I have to say that this is really well written.. it held my interest.. although I was saying "oooh, how gory" as I read it. Glad she got hers in the end. I mean, I know she was abused.. but the entire family.. kids and all?
I hadn't realized you were getting into "horror" writing. Hmm, do we have another Stephen King on ES?? It's great writing. Well done!
~ Sandra
| Posted on 2005-07-03 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  this wonderful work eloquent and very immagintive keep up the good work and keep writing this is a very good peice...:0 ;)...:)
| Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  This is outstanding! Tell me, are you a undercover novelist? This is not only a poem it's a short story. Really good detailed moments. I can imagine putting a certain flow of music to this. Then you have a short movie, "Elsie goes to Hell" ...Evil lives where evil dies. You really kept my attention. Great Poem/story! Wanda
| Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]


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