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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Silent Depthsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: newerachild
    ASL Info:    15/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 19/28/18
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Political
    Total Views: 252
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 810



    Description:
       Don't worry about the punctuation, there is a purpose for that, but it is hard to concentrate on gramatical errors and tense shifting when I put this poem into this format so please let me know.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSilent Depthsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    dive dive
    past the holds of responsibility
    dive dive
    immerse oneself into a world of
    -Stop-
    time frozen to the jiffy.
    in a,
    blue blurry world,
    -to-
    hold oneself in one's own arms
    one will
    break free for the surface
    blood
    rushes to the head
    as the race
    for the surface,
    hastens to an
    unimaginable need
    for speed,
    as you
    -think-
    of the conformity
    utilitarianism,
    rat race,
    money,
    democracy,
    -and-
    greed,
    that our world promotes
    -to be-
    our lives of conceptualistic
    -free.- dom.
    -Just-
    look and
    -breathe.-
    then

    dive... dive...
    for silence.




    Submitted on 2005-07-03 19:54:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked dive diving into this bit of writing. Like nothing I've seen before....Examines something else besides wah wah I'm lonely and blah blah I love you... I don't have much else to say, but I couldn't leave this one uncommented. Just know you did well, catching my attention in the first place, with 'Silent Depths'.

    "dive... dive...
    for silence."

    A nice and solid ending...Good job. Keep writing....
    Peace, LucyDiamond
    | Posted on 2005-07-03 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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