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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fallen Angel Chroniclesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BrokenAngel
    ASL Info:    21/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 179/157/47
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 649
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1025



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFallen Angel Chroniclesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Swept away by all the lies
    I wipe the pain that’s in my eyes
    Facing everyday with a smile
    I hope my lie will be worth while

    A fallen angel, a broken soul
    Was left lying here, she feels so cold
    Nobody knows how she feels today
    And nobody knows, If she will stay

    Walking numbly through this life
    I listen to everyone’s strife
    Smiling numbly, looking hard
    Watching life through a shard

    A fallen angel, a broken soul
    She’s lying here, she looks so cold
    Nobody cares how she feels today
    She doesn’t know if she can stay

    Smiling at life's disregard
    Pretending that it's not so hard
    To live the way she's been
    But she want's to live again

    A fallen angel, a broken soul
    Was found right here, she feels so cold
    She couldn't take it, but she wouldn't say
    Why it was she couldn't stay





    Submitted on 2005-07-03 22:12:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "Smiling at life's disregard
    Pretending that it's not so hard
    To live the way she's been
    But she want's to live again

    A fallen angel, a broken soul
    Was found right here, she feels so cold
    She couldn't take it, but she wouldn't say
    Why it was she couldn't stay"

    sadness in his maximum expression i really enjoyed this writing i think you explouit very weel your potential in this kind of writings so i guess.. you are doing okay just the repetition of a stanza.. well yif it is a lyrics you should have posted in the category of lyrics not poetry... it is just a suggestion...
    so a good writing
    and thanks for sharing and i hope you can check out my writings and leave a comment please
    have a nice day
    peace and love
    and take care
    Victor
    p.d.: keep writing
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Magnifique. I think that it could flow a little more smoothly, but the feeling is there, and that's important.

    Nicely done Bets.
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]
      I KNEW THIS WOULD BE GOOD! A fallen angel, a broken soul. Great wording to put behind such beautiful words. As for the poem well it is equaly as amazing. And nice word use as well. Great work here.
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by Di Re Rakord | [ Reply to This ]
      Smiling at life's disregard
    Pretending that it's not so hard
    To live the way she's been
    But she want's to live again

    A fallen angel, a broken soul
    Was found right here, she feels so cold
    She couldn't take it, but she wouldn't say
    Why it was she couldn't stay

    ...True is this. It's a beautiful poem with well-written story. I liked it and the way the fallen angel stanza repeats. Good work at this :)
    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]
      like bloodwing say. very honest.
    A fallen angel, a broken soul
    Was left lying here, she feels so cold
    Nobody knows how she feels today
    And nobody knows, If she will stay

    Walking numbly through this life
    I listen to everyone’s strife
    Smiling numbly, looking hard
    Watching life through a shard

    I know they say "I can relate" is a bad comment. but i can really ralte to this. I smile, but i can't remember the last time i ment my smile.
    I loved it
    Kay
    | Posted on 2005-07-03 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very honest, I liked it a lot. I haven't been reading great stuff on this site lately, but this one is pretty good. Way to go.

    Gradaully,
    Heroes don't die this well,
    | Posted on 2005-07-03 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]
      I always enjoy reading your poetry, although it always make me feel so sad & somtimes (through the eyes of the poem) lost & alone. This poem in particular reminded me of you, A LOT, but I'll tell you why when next I see you (since it's personal). Also when I read this the scene that unfolded before my eyes was a young girl who never takes enough time for herself & listen's to the problems & troubles of other people, instead of her own. While inside she's slowly breaking down, but she's trying to hide it from the world, until finally she can't take it anymore & takes her own life. But I really did like it, when don't I like the things you write?...lol
    ~*~ Brandie ~*~
    | Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by Flaming_Shadow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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