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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rae of Lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: His Assholiness
    ASL Info:    35/M/Tampa, FL
    Elite Ratio:    5.06 - 104/90/23
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1300
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 622



    Description:
       This is a poem for my youngest daughter Rachel. She is so dear to me. I had lost contact for far too long and have missed her so much. I am so very proud to know she is my daughter. I love you so much, Rachel.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRae of Lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rae, a beam of purity
    The dark clouds bend
    To allow you through.

    The warmth and shine
    Presses the shadows
    Into corners to hide from you.

    Rains clear from your way
    And dries in your path
    Oh beauty and love are thee.

    A tinted, printed window
    Separates my hand from you
    The warmth just out of reach.

    But today it opened
    Just a crack and let me
    See the glory of your beam.

    One day this window
    Will smash away and I
    Can hold you again,
    My Rae of light. My life.




    Submitted on 2005-07-03 22:37:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Heyy there!
    For the content, there is nothing I would suggest you change.

    There are a few grammar things you can look over and change if you'd like.

    'The warmth and shine / Presses(press?) the shadows'
    'Rains(Rain?) clear from your way / And dries(dry?) in your path'

    A very touching piece. Loved it. =]

    Wishing you the best!
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by babixpeaches | [ Reply to This ]
      and we call Her "Raya-Raya-Sunshine", too. this weekend She was "Duckie" because She so loves the puddles and splashes through them with such enthusiasm. then She was "Munkee" 'cos she climbed up in the loft in the cabin and giggled down at us. at night, She was "Squeak" because of the squeaks She made with Her head in my lap and Her tiny perfect limbs curled in my arms when i whispered in Her ear as She slept that Her Daddy loves Her...Her Daddy loves Her...Her Daddy loves Her.
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]
      Truely beautiful man... You're daughter (obviously) has talent upon talent... she's not only a skilled writer, she's a heart felt emotional writing... a combination that many have but few can express so well... What more can i say, i have no right to critique something so pure... it's great. simply and honestly brilliant... take care my friend... and don't let things that hurt in through the unlocked back door...

    Travis the guy across the way
    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]
      aaw from this you can really see how much your daughter means to you-i can feel innocence and purity reach out from this poem.
    i like the comparrison of the beam of light as your daughter. as you point out there is something stopping you two to be close -stopping 'your' light get through.
    i like the fact that light brings life to all and your daughter is your ray of light so sweet that you can't live without her -she has a dad who really loves her aaww :) so sweet thankyou for sharing xxx
    callyxxx
    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by callycat | [ Reply to This ]


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