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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crushdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: C. Flava
    ASL Info:    19/M/ILLINOIS
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 87/117/28
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 778
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 922



    Description:
       It's been awhile so i decided to submitt something.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrushdots
    -------------------------------------------


    These feelings won't quit
    The emotions won't stop
    Can't stop thinking about
    What if and why not

    The feelings are real
    It's easy to see
    But talking about them
    Just isn't easy

    The emotions won't cease
    No matter how hard you try
    But it's a bad thing to do
    Keeping them inside

    Thinking about it
    Just makes it worse
    But speaking your mind
    May not just work

    Wondering what if
    Will get you knowwhere
    Cause questioning to much
    Will just make you scared

    Asking why not
    Is just telling your
    That your afraid
    Of rejection and you think they wont care

    You may hide it
    Deny it and such
    But it's obivious to see
    That you have a "CRUSH"




    Submitted on 2005-07-04 19:58:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I decided to comment on some of your stuff, cause you ocmment on mine...

    I thought this was a good write, but you did have some errors, with spelling, and punctuation, but I'm not a really picky person... so I'm not really gonna name them.

    Anyways I think the way you wrote it all down, in an order that this all appears... I think you did a good job with that.. cuz I am thinking to myself, this makes perfect sense...

    So to me I enjoyed this, I thought it was real, and it had a point...

    Keep writing.

    Stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      I see what you were like getting at but i feel like you didnt make it flow that well, as if you went in tryin to write something, had an idea and for got about the poetry, but ala in all it want bad. i did think you would have put more detail and discribe what was going on like a story more detailed. I would have like to know who what and where you know what i mean but thats just how i like poems to be and feel. I like a feeliing to hold on to. i did like some of your lines in here such as: "Thinking about it
    Just makes it worse
    But speaking your mind
    May not just work" thats so true its hard to feel things but its harder to say them out loud "Cause questioning to much
    Will just make you scared" that fits in well with the hole crush thing wich is a good subject to write about with detailed feelings their is so much to be saud about that and everyone can feel it. ok so nice job lol
    | Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by BlackLace | [ Reply to This ]


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