This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Coca-Cola with Lime

Author: Sephiroth
ASL Info:    22/Male/WA
Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 60 /67 /29
Words: 139
Class/Type: Poetry /Comedy
Total Views: 883
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 944



Coca-Cola with Lime

Coca-Cola with Lime.
A single liter costs 11 dimes.
Then you would have 2 pennies to spare,
If you have 106 more cents,
Your mom is gonna make you share.

You put the lime in the coke,
But only if you a nut.
Then you find something to poke,
As long as it isn't me or my butt.

I could use
A 2-liter right now.
For I'm watching the channel 'Fuse'
And the music is like, 'Wow'

Writing poems
About random things
Is like, really tough.
Just thinking of things to write about
Is super-duper rough.

I'm writing this on a cell phone,
Which is kinda hard.
Its probably worse
Than eating a bucket of lard.

Ok, I'm done
My fingers hurt,
So I'm gone.
Nothing in this stanza rhymes!

Submitted on 2005-07-04 20:05:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I must say
I liked the creativity you displayed in this write
The randomness of thoughts and words really came together to let us the Reader inside your mind
I like the title as well
The title instantly comfortsd you into relaxing before you start to read this write
Nice Work!!!
I look forward to reading more writes from you
God Bless

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
| Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  This was completely random, I'm not sure if that is what you were going for, but I didn't like it. The rhymes were forced and silly. Though somehow this appeals to my inner child, which I may point out your inner child would have a hard time beating up. She works out. :)
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
  Huh...interesting (yet again). Why do I even bother commenting on your stuff? the Answer: because your freaking comments on my pieces have lowered my generosity rate, you idiot!

Anyway, this should raise it a percent or two. Hehehehe. I'm not shallow, I just like to restore whatever was mine to begin with.

If you want serious comments on your not-so-serious works in the future, give serious comments to start with.

I'm happy to announce to you that this shall be my last commenting on any of your piece. That is unless you, miraculously, improve either commenting or writing.
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]
  lol... i don't kno wat 2 think, it was kinda cute. i guess i enjoyed reading it, it kept me interested for some reason. as u said u wrote about random things so i guess it was ok for comedy, caz it sure was strange.
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by latykim | [ Reply to This ]
  OMG, this is hilarious. You are absolutely insane, but that's okay, because we all be crazy around here. kiu
| Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by Siren Mengana | [ Reply to This ]
  Is MMISS on something? (no "fence") Don, you weirdo. But I say that in the most nice way possible. "You put the lime in the coke," that line is the best in the whole poem. I think if you could come up with more things like that they'd make a very good and clever poem type thing, which you seem to have a k'nack for...poem like things. Anyways, it's the creativity that counts. No one else seems to create these strings of words quite like yourself. So keep thinking up new things!! Keep writing!

| Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
  very cute poem! what a imagination. it is very different and funny.

I'm writing this on a cell phone,
Which is kinda hard.
Its probably worse
Than eating a bucket of lard.

i thought this was hilarious!
| Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, considering the fact that this poem is comedy, it was ok. Not my kind of thing, but it was ok. One thing I'd like to point out, is that "coka-cola" is not spelled with a "k", it is spelled with a "c', (coca- cola).
| Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by juss_kriss | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't know this has to be one of the most random things I have ever read. There seems to be no point at all and absolutally no structure. It's just a pile of words combined together to make a not so meaningful and not so funny poem. What I did like was pretty much the same thing it is so far wrong that it kind of works. Not exactly my kind of poetry. Why don't you try something with a meaning???? I bet you could come up with some pretty great stuff.
| Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by nsnaakyhhh:) | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?