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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Don'tdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyHeart2Yours
    ASL Info:    18.female.Pennsylavnia
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 96/112/42
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 242
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 960



    Description:
       Its just a random pieces that sort of symoblizes my need to hide away from the world.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDon'tdots
    -------------------------------------------


    By the light of one last shred,
    I hold on, nothing more I want to see



    but your eyes hold me
    they stare me down



    and I don't let go



    Because you hold me here,
    your grip on me tightens with each breath



    It's like I'm caving in



    Will you save me?

    Don't touch me,
    don't lay a finger upon the damage that's been done



    Just watch me,
    but cast your eyes away from me,
    For the tears you see are not pure,
    they we're caused by pain



    Come save me.



    but please don't touch me,
    for your skin is on fire



    but please don't watch me,
    for your eyes burn a hole in me





    Submitted on 2005-07-05 20:54:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was good.
    i liked your form, it seemed to help give off the emotion alot better.
    this was i think very well witten.
    it was different but something i think was well portrayed.


    'Because you hold me here,
    your grip on me tightens with each breath



    It's like I'm caving in



    Will you save me?

    Don't touch me,
    don't lay a finger upon the damage that's been done'

    i really like this part.
    i dont know why. but it really rang out to me.
    it was very touching and emotional.
    a very back and forth style that was well done.

    it was just all over well written.
    good discriptions, you could see it happening and feel the pain.
    good write!
    jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]


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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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