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My End My Closure My Family

Author: No Talent
ASL Info:    24/m/Ny
Elite Ratio:    4.12 - 263 /178 /31
Words: 261
Class/Type: Poetry /Alone
Total Views: 1025
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1556


I wrote this one to describe the pain i'm going thru right now between me and my gurl might not make alot of sense to any of you at first but this is my closure . Might take a couple times to get but its all there

My End My Closure My Family

I have a Family..
A boy named Trust
A girl Named Believe
A wife Named Faith and a heart we all once shared split into three
Laying here remembering One between the Three
Trust my first-born and one I hold in such Hierarchy
Sitting quietly questioning from time to Time knowing someday
He will have his moment to Shine
Knowing one day his time will come
Show his true self and not those of Mistrust
One day, One Day…You will see...
Believe my second born precious, gentle and serene of thought
My Flower rustling between the gentle winds
I will always believe in you
You know right from Wrong
Trust From mistrust, and one day your time will come
Your Day of Judgment
To choose on whether you truly believe or disbelieve all I’ve taught
One Day, One Day…
My Faith my beloved upon you we built Trust and believe
You I Can see no flaws in now matter what you do
I am yours
A withered leave in the wind
No where to go, lost and within your control
Powerless…yet blinded by my Faith
Knowing one day Faith even you will be faced with your choice
A choice you alone must make
Whether Mistrust, Disbelief, or the unfaithful decide to show up
One Day, One Day…
The Choice is yours and my Love still waves in the wind
Withered and tattered by the seasons forever yours
No matter the Choice you make.

Submitted on 2005-07-06 09:24:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Very excellent...for a person that claims to have no talent you are layin it down mighty heavily here, ya know? Funny how cool it would be to just have at least one person who has enough faith in you to believe you can wholeheartedly be trusted...thats all a person needs to be able to conquer their world, ya know? Nicely stated and greatly appreciated. Have a good one and keep smilin'
| Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the beginning of this piece, it is very powerfulyl put forward. i think the middle gets a bit cluttered and needs some editing. but the idea you have going here is strong and if only expressed a bit more clearly, would be a splendidly powerful piece. i enjoyed reading this a great deal. your vulnerability in your writing is your greatest strength, from what ive seen. you lay it all out honestly, and thats inspiring. great. cait <3
| Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by PhotoNegative | [ Reply to This ]
  I read it one time and I got what you were trying to say...But I think that the three things that birthed and help to costruct your relationship need to be described more in detail because the three items are so closely related. I don't think many will understand or see where you are trying to go with this. So you might want to patch that up as soon as possible...Great concept!

| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm sorry, this is probably not it, but I read it three times, I think that this poem, well I think in this poem, because you were having a hard time, you began to Trust, Believe, and have Faith in God. I don't know, that probably is not even it, but the words, well I don't know. I think itt was very nicely written, and I loved the way you chose to capitalize some of the words, that was fun. It's really good.
Peace and love,
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
  Hard to believe that you name yourself "no talent". I would disagree with this. It is hard to keep love alive in all of the conditions you describe, but your heart shines through this piece like a beacon. May Faith always come to this beacon. Lynn
| Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]

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