Insomnia by girl

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Submission Name: Insomnia dots

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Author:	girl
ASL Info:	18/f/egypt
Elite Ratio:	4.1 - 24/24/5
Words:	75

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	263
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	444

Description:
this is something beautiful i wish i could call my own. a test drive. feedback wanted.

Insomnia dots

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Where is my sleep that has been ripped from me like the fish from water?
Where is my rest, has fallen into the seamless depths and dissipated in the everlasting darkness of desire?
The fragments of the mind never stop endeavoring; moving in disarray, searching the answers of the questions that bear no answers.
Where is my sleep, that will make me dive deeper than the deepest ocean and soar higher than the highest cloud?

Submitted on 2005-07-06 12:12:46 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Honestly the last two lines make this work rise above the norm into beauty. However, the rest of the poem seems incomplete, as if it were copied quickly from a stolen notebook.
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  If you didn't write this, what kind of feedback should I give? Overall, I think the poem is incomplete. It seems as if it wasn't supposed to end there. But obviously you are looking for something about this poem so just let me know what it is you are looking for?

*SMILES*

X
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm really not sure what to say. I am confused as you say you did not write this so I'm not sure what kind of feedback you are looking for. I can tell ya however that I can so relate to this! I frequently notice my mind wandering around, keeping me awake, thinking about things I have no answers for! I don't know why?! Take care.
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  you didn't write this?

well i know where the writer is coming from... i haven't slept more than an hour in the past two weeks...

i think this could be added to, make a charecter out of it and turn it into a story

but it stands on it's own too

on the flipside
-DS
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by playing card | [ Reply to This ]

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