[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Faraway Landdots

    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1132
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 812

       Just something I wrote a few minutes ago...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Faraway Landdots

    In a distant, far-off land
    Somewhere peaceful, somewhere new
    There I'll live another day
    Wishing fairytales came true

    There the gnomes come out to play
    From their little forest homes
    Whistling tunes of summer rain
    Smiling smiles of happy gnomes

    Fairies with translucent wings
    Dancing gaily in the air
    Bounding lightly on gold leaves
    Sparkles shimmer in their hair

    Mermaids dwell in deep green lakes
    Strung with pearls of pink and white
    Swimming through their water world
    With an air of sheer delight

    In this place of kings and elves
    In this land where centaurs roam
    I shall live somehow, someday
    Oh, to call such a place home!

    Submitted on 2005-07-06 13:36:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is beautiful and wistful.
    I've always enjoyed fairytales and stories about elves and mermaids and what have you..
    the imagery is vivid, I can see what you are painting before my eyes.

    'gnomes come out to play
    From their little forest homes
    Whistling tunes..'
    'Bounding lightly on gold leaves
    Sparkles shimmer in their hair'
    'deep green lakes
    Strung with pearls of pink and white'


    thanks for the read.

    | Posted on 2005-07-07 00:00:00 | by pennyroyal tea | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a happy poem. Can I visit your fantasy with you? We can watch the gnomes play together.

    I really loved the imagery in this. Fairies with sparkling, shimmering hair. I could see them playing on leaves of gold.

    Thank you for sharing such a happy fantasy with us.

    Brightest Blessings,
    p.s. When do we leave?
    | Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
      Yea, i wish for the same thing! It reminds me of a fairytale...well duh, lol. I'd have to say that THIS is my favorite part:

    Mermaids dwell in deep green lakes
    Strung with pearls of pink and white
    Swimming through their water world
    With an air of sheer delight

    This is a very fanstasy-ish poem. Which is good becuz everyone has their own fantasy! I like the whole layout of the poem and the stanza's were awesome. I really liked the imagery in this too. Great piece and i look forward to read more from you.

    | Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by _NowOrNever_ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is quite a air lifting poem-I mean it's not everyday that I read such a poem of dreams, and fairytales and you know it's nice to know that someone dreams of their home in a fairytale-I remember when i was younger I use to dream the same dream as you-now I just dream that I could live in the forest, me and them w/ the creatures to accompany-your piece is a beautiful piece...I'm quite glad i came across it...
    nice job
    thank you for a wonderful share
    | Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
      aww i love these kindsa poems... they always have such a peaceful kind of air about them... you did a great job on this one... The rhyme was unforced and it flowed together so well... Fairytales were meant to come true, if not phyically then through the feelings emitted from such poetry as this... you've done very well in this my friend, truely... take care of yourself and don't let the gnomes gnaw at your knees... stomp on um if they do... ADIOS!

    Travis Thomas John Rickett
    | Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, to live in a land where fairies braid flowers into our hair. To watch the elves glide over the tips of ferns, and unicorns play with their young. I am packed and ready to go! The lack of punctuation didn't deter from this piece; it is a piece of fantasy where the rules of our world don't apply.
    Thanks for posting this beautiful little piece! I needed a bit of wonder today.
    | Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      i think everyone dreams of a fantastic place to take the rest of their life away, because life isn't constantly beautiful or the dream we wish it to be.
    such a pretty place comes to mind and i like the fact there this piece is full with joy - but then the longing at the end
    'Oh, to call such a place home!'
    gives realisation that the world is not such a place which is quite sad in a way ! -beautiful images xxx cheers
    cally xxx
    | Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by callycat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is neat, tidy and contains an air of happiness about it that made me smile while reading it. The rhyming sceme also kept a constant pace throughout and fitted in almost to perfection. The vision that you describe, you done it in such a way that i could invision it as i read through the piece. Only one thing i can see that i think could be a typo, however if you meant to be this way, then this a suggestion..

    Dancing joyfully in air

    I think adding 'the' would of gone better with it's rhyming partner.
    Like so;

    Dancing joyfully in the air
    Sparkles shimmer in their hair

    If you put the two together like this you can see what i mean, they now are roughly the same length.
    Also it lacks punchuation, but i only saw that as i pasted those lines and took nothing away from the read at.
    A happy and vision filled piece.
    | Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by corruptedspirit | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]