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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Popped Bubbledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nebnim
    ASL Info:    21 - Female - My Room
    Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 284/405/75
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 954
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 654



    Description:
       I have what I call a "Lemming Complex". I love to be high up...a skyscraper cliff above an angry ocean is one of the greatest things in this world to me. But, heights scare me as well. If I look down, I want to jump. And it's not a desire to die, please don't misunderstand. I don't really have a desire to fly, either. Maybe it's a need to just let go, to feel nothing but air.
    I really do hate cliffs...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPopped Bubbledots
    -------------------------------------------


    I Hate Cliffs

    Empires made of sand,
    As I recall your bitter words
    Stinging so cruelly
    At the child within me.
    Striking me so sexually.
    Not out of anger...this time.
    I look down to view
    The raging froth of Mother Nature.
    High upon this God-granted pedestal,
    Seagulls teasing me
    With their superiority.
    A breeze tickles me,
    Unaware or accepting of my numerous scars.
    It loves me regardless.
    I feel as if I'm floating
    On the edge of the world.
    I could dive in,
    Never to be seen again.

    I Hate Cliffs...




    Submitted on 2005-07-07 18:07:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ahhhh...! This is a great poem! I love the way you expressed yourself in this write! I can see all of what you are writing about and even feel that ooooh...! feeling in my stomach as I look down to the ocean from way up high on that cliff. I too, dont like heights! But in the same sense, I love rollercoasters and being really high up in a skyscraper or even a cliff like you said! But I always get that funny feeling when I look down that freaks me out! haha! Go figure! And I love to watch an angry ocean! That is awesome! Something wonderful about big waves crashing on the rocks...just great! Very nice write! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha, wow. I feel like this quite often. I love reading things that takes me into the writer's mind, into their thoughts, their fears and wishes and loves... etc. But this was very beautiful. One thing is that when I feel this way, I can't say that I hate or love "the cliff" (though I've never thought of it like that) because even though it is so terrifying it is still simply exhilerating. Of course I'm extremely contradictory in my head, so perhaps you should pay me no heed. Thanks for sharing this so that one such as I could have the pleasure of reading it.
    -Adaria
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by Adaria | [ Reply to This ]
      Jeezuz, Tachel, I really must visit you more often.
    Don't get any better, mind you, or I'll give writing away.

    This is truly stunning, you reach into the reader's mind and drag them, screaming, to dangle over the edge, held by a thread. I don't want to philosophise on the piece, I'm busy enough arguing with myself over the best bits in it.

    I can't praise this enough, it's F<cking sensational!

    Extra, extra good!

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this the first time I saw it, written in pencil on a bar napkin. Other people are getting phone numbers that way; I scrawled my website address for someone; You were writing poetry. Reading it here, it's just as powerful.

    "Seagulls teasing me
    With their superiority."

    I liked this in particular. I used to work in a grain elevator, 150 feet up and I can remember idolizing the birds as they soared on the thermals, even looking at spiders and bugs crawling on the side of the building where no human would ever go.

    "I feel as if I'm floating
    On the edge of the world.
    I could dive in,
    Never to be seen again."

    I think I share your "lemming complex", although the term is new. It's fascinating to ponder life in these kind of moments.

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
      Terrific! Well written! Here are my thoughts. Cliffs are classic decision points. We must decide! Your poem reflects on such a decision, to cast off the "bitter words" that sting "cruelly", and strike "sexually". "The raging froth of Mother Nature" represents this past world, above which, you now hover. You lose a bit of faith in your decision, see "seagull" "superiority' and remember your "numerous scars", and wonder at your choice, "I could dive in". We all hate such choices, "hate cliffs", because the decisions are made not in a common-sense way, but by that which drives us, our inner force, and not in a controlled way, but by our desires and ambitions. We 'hate cliffs", for fear of going over the edge, of losing control, of feeling nothing but air, "never to be seen again". We would be lost forever in those things we abhor, so we avoid the cliffs, and find happiness on the level plains.

    Brilliantly portrayed, giving us a look inside your mind, bringing us to the edge with you, and admiring your courage to make the best choice. I loved this poem. It's a great write.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed not only the poem itself, but your description. I can understand that ambivalence, I feel it myself, a lot of the time.

    There's a real innocence and comfort coming from the images your poem produces, yet the reality of what the narrator is thinking is both sad and hopeless.

    It loves me regardless
    this is so sad..

    A desire to let go to feel nothing but air..there have been so many moments where I have felt that way..people think you either want to live or die..but I've always wanted neither..
    I can't explain it but this has really struck a chord with me. A favourite, it mystifies and resonates-but I have to say, why don't you just title it 'I hate cliffs'? Because the title and the first line confused me.

    But thanks for the read..
    I hope you are well

    peacenlove
    alexis
    | Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by pennyroyal tea | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo... I really love this peice. It gives the sense of suicide in such an innocent way. When pair with images of sand castles, sea gulls, and a cool ocean breeze, the idea of suicide seems all to welcoming. I know in your description you say it isn't about death. You just want to let go right, but perhaps death is the only way you can truly let, thus feeling that sense of nothingness. I love this poem, definitely a favorite, but I must ask about the title. So... what with the title? Thanks for the read, PEACE.
    | Posted on 2005-07-07 00:00:00 | by ConScribe | [ Reply to This ]


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