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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flower's Fragrancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Adaria
    ASL Info:    20/F/AR
    Elite Ratio:    4.41 - 39/38/14
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 733
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 490



    Description:
       I picked a flower, and as it was dying I noticed this. And I related.

    And as to the comment previously, suggesting to use a metaphore, The whole poem is a metaphore which I hoped to get across by the last line. It's true. So... if there's any suggestions having to do with that... it'll be greatly appreciated.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlower's Fragrancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A flower's fragrance is at it's best while dying
    As the petals wilt, the smell increases intensity
    Perhaps it is it's last attempt to make itself known to the world
    A last attempt to be loved by the world
    The vivid scent floods the brain
    Beautiful, though it's dying
    A sweet death, colors fading
    The sight darkens, but the fact permeates
    It's truth is known as it passes
    For my death to be the same...




    Submitted on 2005-07-07 22:27:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed the originality of this poem. The last line was very profound.

    Suggestions for improvement:
    1. compare the flower to something
    (by using figurative language, you can create some powerful images)
    | Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by Volga | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.. this is a good poem. It express the way most people who feel "invisible" acctually feel always trying to be noticed and things i like the way it flows. It also as diffrent levels of depth depending on who the reader is. It's the type of poem that some would call realistic.
    | Posted on 2005-07-07 00:00:00 | by Raye | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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