I killed a man or two or three,
I killed them and the men they were meant to be.
Stabbed and shot them,
Clawed and scratched my way through them.
Justified by my will to survive.
Petrified by my will to thrive.
| The two last verses are powerful, nicely brought together by the title. |
My first impression of this was that it was a bizarre write. However idle- does have a point. He probably took this piece as what it really was about, while I was thinking more along the lines of "uhh..goth?" Forgive me for that.
The only element that distracted me really was the terribly white spaces between them. The fourth line also reached me as quite too long. It didn't fit with the rest of the smooth-riding piece.
Otherwise, very interesting, humanly true.
|| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ] || "The way it is"...|
Ummm...w/ just a few words you still tore through the core...here's what I see...a soldier on both sides thinking the same exact thing...
"JUSTIFIED BY MY WILL TO SURVIVE.
PETRIFIED BY MY WILL TO THRIVE."
It's sad really, that war is a duty for men-something that they really don't want to do-but it must be done...
"I killed the men and the men they were meant to be"
This is ...gosh!...so sad...I don't think I can critique this poem...say anything worth destroying the worth of these words b/c they're powerful-too powerful...
so leave it along w/ the feeling that in some little way you spoke some words of life as a soldier-if this is not what the poem is about-then I'd like to know-b/c this is all I get...
|| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ] |