Once Bitten by lmz

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Submission Name: Once Bitten dots

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Author:	lmz
ASL Info:	37/female/USA
Elite Ratio:	8 - 3416/1525/84
Words:	95

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	257
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	631

Description:
Live and learn and be careful

Once Bitten dots

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Wishing I could tell you
Of feelings deep inside
Afraid you'll see a weakness
My strength is my pride

Should I open myself
Allow you closer to me
Might leave me vulnerable
A disaster it could be

Standing on my own
Keeping my soul hid
Burying the insecurities
Since I was a kid

Now you are here
Asking for my trust
Promising you are genuine
Honesty is a must

Maybe I will show you
A little at a time
Let you step inside my world
And pray that you'll be kind

Submitted on 2005-07-08 08:39:58 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I really like this one Lorna. Persons who have experience love and have been hurt because of that love can really relate to a write this.

I really did miss reading your stuff.

Keep up the great work
and take care

be happy

Jason

| Posted on 2006-05-31 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
  A very perceptive write and sound advice. 'Once bitten - twice shy'. But always rember Lorna - 'He who hesitate's - loses.

The debate here is whether the head should rule the heart. If it does, then that throws this thing called love into disrepute !

Love is all about finding both untold joy and pain.

Frank.
| Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
  Lorna
I like this write
You are a very smart person for not just jumping into Love
That is the mistake most of society makes when they go into a relationship is that they dont way out the positives versus the negatives
Once Again Great Write

And Thanks for your comments about my grandma(MEMA)
She was my world
I have a tatoo on my arm with mema on it
I will never ever forget her love
God Bless You
Ron
| Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with this opening yourself up to someone can be dangerous. trust is a highly valuable factor in a healthy relationship. two people who share that trust and have faith in each other is wonderful. i feel for alot of things here "Wishing I could tell you Of feelings deep inside" and "Should I open myself Allow you closer to me?" most of all i connect deeply to "Keeping my soul hid Burying the insecurities
Since I was a kid" another awesome and honest write. mike
| Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Once bitten twice shy. I can relate to this in so many ways it's unreal. It's definitely hard to learn to trust again after someone betrays you. I think you've done a very good (and very realistic) job of showing the process of learning to trust again-you let people in slowly, and unfortunately, the more people hurt you, the slower you let others into your life. This is one great piece of writing; keep up the marvelous work.
J
| Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this piece anyone who has been burnt can relate to it i like the fear the wonder the hessitation the process of trusting someone again after uve been hurt is a hard and long one but i guess u gotta know the lows to enjoy the highs :) good work
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by Shadows Life | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh the fears and hesitations to open ourselves up to another. You have written on a subject that I'm sure most all readers can identify with. Almost all of us have been hurt, treated poorly or left alone after exposing our weaknesses to someone we thought we could trust. You did a fine job of discribing this dilemma and I'm glad I took the time to read this piece! Love, Dan
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
  This reminds me a little of when I studied "pride and prejudice", as at the start of your poem you say that "my strength is my pride" suggesting that the pride is part of the reason you can't love this person, which is similar to darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Just a thought or I may have just been studying this book for too long! I think however you could try simplifying it a bit and trying limiting words like "my" and "I" and also changing some of the less interesting words maybe by using a theasaurus. Otheriwse I think it is a good poem
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by xdollpartsx | [ Reply to This ]
  Yes, its hard to just let someone in and give them your trust. But in the end I think you've decided to go about it the right way... "a little at a time." Good thinking. Anywho, this (like everything else Ive read by you) is really good. I like it a lot. I hope things work out and you don't end up with the question, "why the F did I trust him?" Good luck with everything.

-nikkki
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice very sweet - the fear of getting hurt is ever present in all of us, but for those who have been scarred it is a terror.
Suggestion: my strenght is "in" my pride - reads easier. Altho not correct Eng. should I open "up" myself - again adds a needed syllable. A disaster it could be is a bit forced - how about; Could be the end of me.

Anyway really nice write enjoyed it!

Steve
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
  I reverberate the comments below. It's sometimes hard to "open up" completely to someone in fear that you may be rejected... but love is worth the effort. A person can't truly love you for YOU if your hiding inside yourself. Emerge yourself in love (however slowly) and take a chance. As Cat said.. life is indeed too short to miss out on love.
A nice write.
~Sandra
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  yes, it is hard to let someone in and trust especially after we've been hurt so deeply by others. i like that there is hope at the end, that you will let this person in even if slowly. vulnerability does play hardball sometimes, but we can't know true love unless we are vulnerable. life is too short to miss out on love.
thank you for sharing.
@ Cat
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  Twice shy...awwww...this was just a tender little diddy and totally relates to the description. Yes, baby steps are the way to go sometimes, ya know? The words were arranged very simple and that made it "clear". Nice write. Have a good one and keep smilin'
| Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

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