Description: The picture is the the same as the poem, I just put the poem up just in case for some reason the image doesn't show up for somebody.
Once again this is another poem that I wrote some time ago. A few months, give or take. So this post is for your enjoyment of critiquing, bash it, tell me if you like it, give me advice, & praise. ¿ideas?
Hop to it now.
EDIT- I guess there has been some confusion but thats fine considering poetry can be interpreted in thousands of different ways. In this poem I am using the reference to the 9/11 event as a metaphor for what was going on with my heart.
Dear Lover, I have no words of wisdom for you.
Love is a foreign language to me,
I throw rocks at people who speak it fluently.
They bombed my twin towers.
The first tower,
My heart,
Was obliviated.
The second towerr,
My soul,
Stands half erect in testament to the hearts absence.
Is the 9/11 reference a metaphor for your personal experiences with love... or is this actually about the attacks on the towers? At first read through i thought it was just a metaphor but now i'm not so sure...
Anyway, very nice neat little poem, and beautifully set out in the image. Slightly confusing as i said before, but interesting and thought-provoking nonetheless. Nice work. xxx
Man, you make me made. I play in paint and attempt to make all those silly little cliché but pretty icons all the time, and you go a write a freaking poem in one! You mastermind, you. I wish I could say my silly little icons were half as good too...
I, personally, really enjoyed this. You took the 9/11 attacks and made them into two different symbols of America. First, and most easily seen, America as a whole. How we were affected by the attacks and how it hurt us emotionally. Second, you have human nature and love, which we see physically on everyone's sleeves everyday.
Good job.
Your real defying line was def. your last. It made me re-read it and say to myself, "darn!" But thats just me.
The only nit-pick I have is like the previous commentor said, the tower thing. I do realize its supposed to represent a twoer, but it breaks your piece up too much I think. But maybe I'm jsut really trying to find something bad to say so my comment doesnt look like crap.
I was rather confused by this. I like the graphics tho.
Does this pertain to the U.S. Twin Towers or some written metaphor about something else? If you really want a disection, this was a choppy read for me. I understood it surface-wise but why would you say: "The first t o w e r, My heart, Was o b l i v i a t e d.?" Are we, the readers, to assume that the towers were distroyed and therefore brought the havoc upon your heart? The same goes for the second tower. What do you mean exactly by your "soul" standing half erect... Ugh...for pete's sake.
Poetry is meant for many things, but one thing (in my opinion) it shouldn't do is place the reader in the DUHHHH zone.
Submission Name: Love's Twin Towers
