[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Part In Medots

    Author: deathbelow
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 34/43/17
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1564

       It was an assignment I had to do for my English class. The purpose of it was to mimic the style of the poem "There was a Child went forth" by Walt Whitman...We were supposed to think of a day that changed us...This was everyday in my life...It's not that hard to see what it was about

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPart In Medots

    The empty apartment became a part of me,
    And old musty mattresses
    The brown, sagging, packed boxes with tape,
    The dead silence
    And the hard concrete walls,
    The empty vase, and the colorless atmosphere.

    The busy streets
    And crowed sidewalk
    The beautiful trash,
    And the gurgling sewer
    The birds perched high on telephone lines,
    And the sweet, sweet smell of jasmin
    The white picket fence,
    And little butterflys,
    This all became part of me.

    And the even taller fence that held the children in
    Those who laughed, played and cryed,
    The monkey bars,
    And the tether pole,
    Laying on their backs to look at the deep blue sky,
    The park benches,
    Little paths worn from little feet,
    The ice cream man,
    And dandilions,
    They all became a part in me.

    The broken glass and picture frames
    Glass scattered upon the floor,
    And riped photographs
    The blood and tears
    Mommy crying, daddy screaming,
    And fighting words, fighting sounds,
    Bitter resentment, hate lain across thier face,
    No more photos on the wall,
    This all became part of me.

    The midnight walks
    Outside the gates
    Bright stars and the bright moon,
    The dragon flies and mosquitos
    Crickets in the night,
    Slamming doors,
    Howling dogs,
    Fresh, sweet air,
    They all became part of me.

    Submitted on 2005-07-08 20:10:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You wrote this for english? Help me out because i have a problem with writing something i'm told to write. I usually like to go with the flow. This poem sound like your in Newark, or New York City or one of the cities. It was very vivid and gave me a clear picture of your surroundings. This was a nice poem (notice i sound all smart..i am smart just not...yea). Keep writing because as much as i love to write i also like to read what others write.
    Much Luc and major support,
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful vividry here. They way you describe your life is wonderfully haunting, full of memories that are both good and bad. You captured so many moments so beautiuflly, that I can feel myself being there. I can nothing bad about this poem... you have done a very good job and are very gifted with the craft of writing.


    Indigo Kid
    | Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. The budding life of two worlds. One sadden by emotional pain plagued by hurtful surroundings. The other one your ideal fantasy of escape. You grasped the want so strongly it became a real part of your life. You overcame but you don't forget. Memories will always be a part of you whether good or bad. Bad ones can be overpowered by the good ones. This you have done in your wordings. Good poem! wanda
    | Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]