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    dots Submission Name: to a dying loverdots

    Author: waffuru
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 12/23/8
    Words: 261
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 767
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1441


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    dotsto a dying loverdots

    I can't remember the faces I saw. But I can remember their voices piercing my darkness. "Wake up." They called. But I would not return. I remained there, in that forest of lights. Reds and yellows swirled past. Birds chasing some far off dream. I caught a feather as we passed a streetlight. I sewed my own dreams onto the feather and return it to the wind. It would not reach the ocean.

    A brick falls from a rooftop, the earth shakes as life crumbles. It was in this night we crossed paths. I remember your name but always chose to forget it. You offered me a drink and I carefully sipped. As you taunted from this side of the ice.

    We slipped down the wall and kissed the hardwood. It was a crystal clear reflection: Our lives. I wiped the dirt and decay with your solvent tears.

    The mail arrived and I recieved your invitation. Addressed: To my love. We joined together in vacuous love. It was each other we needed not. I bought you a ring and you bought me a jacket. We watched them play.

    We kissed and found nothing in each other. I filled you with my dying breath. You filled me with your cigarette smoke. I took back my ring and you took back your jacket. Your eyes still empty.

    Pealed up concrete and made a home, within a cold dark heart. Here I waited for your warm touch. I waited for your call, "Wake up.". But I would not return.

    Submitted on 2005-07-09 02:31:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow...wonderful, I could feel every moment of this poem,. When you first start reading, it seems as if someone is really dying. However, you speak of the death of a passionate romance. It died as dramaticly as it started.

    I like the cigarette smoke part,it made me laugh a little.

    Take care
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Winterbliss | [ Reply to This ]
      this is another wonderfully done piece.
    i will repete myself in saying.. you are very talented.
    taking the reading into your world and making them feel all of these things.
    i am now a fan of yours..
    this piece held so many emotions.. true in every sense. love, is a subject so many write about but they dont seem to pull it off quite as well as you did.-
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]

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