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Great Beyond


Author: lenotoire
ASL Info:    32/F/Northern Michigan
Elite Ratio:    8 - 466 /177 /22
Words: 247
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1212
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1474



Description:


To fill the emptiness, to dream the dream.


Great Beyond



As emerald beauty plays off the hues of a mid-summer sunset,
and the birds sing their goodnight notes,
I stare with eyes anew to all that the rain has washed clean.
And I think...


What wondrous things lay far beyond the horizon?
What is it that my eyes cannot see?
Is there something out there waiting to come into my view?

I know there are many things waiting to be explored,
and many places calling to me,
But where would I begin, and how would I get there?
I ask, for I cannot find my way.
I am lost.
Lost in some place in time,
where nothing exists but the longing to break free.
To see all that nature has created, and grasp it tight,
into my imagination,
and hold onto it before there is nothing left.

I look beyond the oceans into the twilight, to distant lands.
But it is only in my mind.
For I have never seen the oceans, they are but a dream.
A dream where the call of the waves beckon me,
to come and explore,
beyond that beautiful horizon,
and view what is waiting for me.

I free the latch of the cage I am in, and fly off.
Into that great beyond...


But alas, with the reaturn of reality,
I clear my mind of all the images I long to behold.
The emerald beauty is gone.
And the rain is falling once more.




Submitted on 2005-07-09 11:52:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I got a sense of vague, curious wonder from this. Almost as if a small child or perhaps a ladybug was wishing to see the world. The words aren't real definitive, but, for once, I'm not sure they should be. Our subject here hasn't seen the world. You can't argue the exact shade of the ocean's blue, until you know that an ocean exists.

Nicely done.

"But alas, with the reaturn of reality,
I clear my mind of all the images I long to behold.
The emerald beauty is gone.
And the rain is falling once more."

On a more humorous note, if you lived in Washington, you would know that it's the rain that makes the emerald city green. LOL

Steve
| Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
  This moves along in the manner of a tone poem. Conversational, yet subvdued. The turns of thought move through corresponding sentiments.

It seems a little wordy to me, but then i am a fool for short form.

The most outstanding thought that i am left with after an initial reading...are thoughts of the beyond.

later, kc
| Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
  I was caught up in your description of the unknown. From the perspective of one who has never seen beyond the confines of thier own town for example, the world is a huge and awe inspiring place with no way to grasp how much is truly out there. I have travelled a large bit of the world and find that even having seen and experienced great wonders, I am forever left with the understanding of how much there still is to see. Statistics say that most people never get beyond 200 miles of home. I am glad you are able to dream of such things until the time when you may experience some of those dreams in your life. Keep it up. Smiles
| Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by Traveller | [ Reply to This ]
  My friend I read this poem with a lute and a pan flute playing in my head... as weird as that sounds... It was a beautiful candidate for a kind of folk song... which isn't bad when yer looking for something peaceful and calming... Ok, well, the lord of the rings geek in me pictured something else in this... at the end of the last movie they sing the song into the west... and i was also picturing that as i read... it was as though you're looking for sanctuary in a far off land, a perfect land across the sea... this was a very peaceful poem then the subject may be about unrest... i enjoyed it very much my friend... I look forward to read more of yer work... if you ever respond to this comment be like READ MY OTHER WORK! cause i'll prolly forget once i log off and i really wanna know more about your mind... alright take care my friend, i appreciate this poem very much... Adios! and don't go stepping on any rusty nails...

T-ravis
| Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]
  You have written a poem about your need to experience the beauty of the world. Brace yourself, for this next sentence is honest, but harsh : You have however dealt in generalities, clichés and platitudes. Words like "emerald, beauty, hues, wondrous, nature, created, beyond. twilight, dream, beckon" are nice, gentle, emotive, but lacking in precision. They are soft squishy sort of words.
The real world lies not in your imagination or outside the cage you feel you are in, but in your own back yard. Remember, you are as important as any other person in the world, your personal reality is as interesting as anybody else's. What is commonplace to you, is exotic to a stranger. In other words, write about what you know using the insightful eye of a poet and choosing words which are vivid and unique. You yearn to escape your cage, but your freedom is within it. Remember the words of Wordsworth: "Nuns fret not at their convent's narrow room, and hermits sit content within their cells, and students in their pensive citadels." Please forgive my harsh honesty. I wouldn't bother giving such advice to just anybody.
| Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
  Please tell me you have seen the beauty of the ocean-her romantic waves and lustful tides-this was a very beautifully vividry of something beyond our eyes...you've asked questions that I too, have asked before...I feel sad that it should only rest in your mind-as mine-you're gifted..
I'm afraid that I can't critique this b/c there is nothing to disturb in this questioning thought...you've done a remarkable job...and this shal go in my favs. so I can read it over and ove again.
take care my friend-
-stacey-
| Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, I thought this was exactly what you set out to write: a whistful, wishing poem, showing that you know and hope there is something wonderful, but you're stuck in the reality of where you are.

I really enjoyed reading this piece, it reminded me that so may of us are longing for happiness only to be dragged back time and again into the sadness of our lot.

Very nicely written

Be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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