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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To Know Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Samuel Bielz
    ASL Info:    21/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 151/182/46
    Words: 210
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 328
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1146



    Description:
       this is very deep, and few, if any, i think will grasp it. If you read "Do Not" by "sweet_rayne" you may get a better feel for it.....that is what inspired me to write it. anyway....i guess tell me what you think......and I already know that the form is terrible...but i hope you like it anyway


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Know Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The grievence that becomes me is haunting.
    All you have and all you know,
    that is my desire.
    Sharing with you my quiet screams,
    and hearing your subliminal cries for a wonderwall.
    I run toward your great conforts,
    yet I am shunned by your fear.
    What is it that I can say or do,
    in order to free your doubtful mind
    and melt your cold heart?
    You've given me the key, but now,
    you try to change the locks.
    Im stolen from my perch so close to you.
    you have torn me
    from my comforting seat so close to you.
    but now, My love, what to do with me.
    You must chose,
    for my last resting place
    has been rendered unlivable.
    Shall you take me to a closer spot,
    to better view your beauty?
    Or shall you drive me away,
    to the depths of my lonely hell?
    I am rendered somewhat helpless,
    in this new position.
    I am as a dog to your whistle Joy...
    either let me in, or throw me out,
    My lovely...Because my once inhabited land
    is in ruins




    Submitted on 2005-07-09 14:23:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hey hun, listeing im sorry that you feel that way and i know im not making it any easier. but like alot of my newer poems say i need someone to earn every step and that means set backs too. but it was very well written and i honestly dont even know if this is about me. im just assuming considering that my name is in it. im sorry but its just how i am
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the emotion and strength in this piece, it keeps my interest and makes me feel something. i felt like the narrarator was being pushed away by someone they loved.
    | Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by fallingingreen | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww... I think I get it. You loved this person, and the person loved you back for a while, but now the person is afraid, and is pushing you back out, but you said that you would do anything for that person, and you want to know if the person wants to be with you or not, because your heart is in shambles. This is so sad, and It was wonderfully written. I love it a lot, and one of my favorite lines were "You've given me the key, but now, you try to change the locks.", which I think means they let you in before, but now they are afraid, and they shout you back out. How sad...I'm sure the person really likes you, because this poem shows you're a great person, and a wonderful writer. I loved it a lot.
    Peace and love,
    Aya
    | Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]



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